agender rambling
14 April 2021 21:07![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
m_d_hThe more I settle into the idea that Gender is Fake, the less LGBTQ+ identities appear -- to me -- to be anything special or worth remarking about. Certainly not worth discriminating against. Yet also not worth adopting. Coming out feels unnecessary, or at least no more important than which type of bread I choose when I'm at a Subway (9-Grain Honey Oat), or which bread you choose. Because if there is no gender, then misgendering doesn't exist, and all pronouns are equivalent, and even transgendering does not exist. There's no such thing as bisexual if there's no gender.
I remember at times in my life feeling like I was "post-gay" because it no longer felt like a big deal to be gay, having come out to everybody and having lived with and/or slept with men for decades. Most of the people I'm sexually attracted to are males, so what. Why should anybody give a damn who I'm sexually attracted to, unless they want to have sex with me, in which case it matters whether I want to have sex with them, but there's a whole lot more to my sexual attraction than your gender. I would not have sex with most men.
If I wouldn't have sex with most men, in what way am I sexually attracted to "men"? I'm not sexually attracted to men, per se! I'm sexually attracted to something else, not to the "man" category, but to something more specific. To my type or subtypes.
If you're in a monogamous relationship, you aren't gay or lesbian or bi or straight, you're oriented on one human. If her name is Gloria you're a Gloriasexual. If his name is Luke you're a Lukosexual. If you're poly then you're polysexual. This notion of gay, lesbian, or bisexual is an exaggeration.
And you are neither cisgender nor transgender, you're just you. There's no need to categorize. You are you. You're pronouns are you/yours, or my/mine, or ...
I got to thinking about this because a person posted to the Nonbinary subreddit about not liking her breasts, but otherwise being OK with people viewing her as female. She wondered whether maybe she was nonbinary. I didn't engage with her, but I thought about -- why does having a gender matter? You don't like your breasts, that's fine. I don't like my belly. I kind of wish my cock were bigger, even though it is usually locked up and hasn't been touched sexually in over six months (not even by myself in over three months). I wonder about -- at this age -- spending money on orthodontia for nicer teeth --
Why does disliking your breasts have any greater descriptive, cultural, or psychosocial weight than disliking your nose? This cultural obsession with assigning gender to people at birth makes it far more transgressive if you dislike something related to your assigned gender, than if you dislike ANYTHING ELSE about yourself or the universe. I don't like capitalism, I'm transideological. I was assigned Catholicism at birth, but I rejected it, I experienced religious dysphoria.
If I wanted to play on the girls team instead of the boys team, or if I wanted to mix up the boys and the girls on the same team, this is viewed as so destructive to society that it must become illegal. But if I don't like my shoes nobody is going to pay much attention to me, just wear different shoes.
Culture has decided there are things I may easily and regularly choose for myself, and things I may not. This is the root of the issue. If you can ignore culture, and choose whatever you want for yourself, then so what? I feel this meditation is a kind of anarchism. Nonbinary is the anarchism of gender. Transgender identities are a kind of opposition to the system of assigning genders at birth, but they still believe in the concepts of male and female genders.
T was telling me a joke about how parents of newborns should have "Gender Conceal" parties instead of "Gender Reveal" parties, but I'd support having "Gender is Fake" parties. Welcome into this world, Pat, you're neither a boy nor a girl and you never will be, and all these societal gender traps signify nothing, they are empty and powerless,
As I am now powerless before the Monarch of Sleep. We'll see what I think of these words in the morning.
I remember at times in my life feeling like I was "post-gay" because it no longer felt like a big deal to be gay, having come out to everybody and having lived with and/or slept with men for decades. Most of the people I'm sexually attracted to are males, so what. Why should anybody give a damn who I'm sexually attracted to, unless they want to have sex with me, in which case it matters whether I want to have sex with them, but there's a whole lot more to my sexual attraction than your gender. I would not have sex with most men.
If I wouldn't have sex with most men, in what way am I sexually attracted to "men"? I'm not sexually attracted to men, per se! I'm sexually attracted to something else, not to the "man" category, but to something more specific. To my type or subtypes.
If you're in a monogamous relationship, you aren't gay or lesbian or bi or straight, you're oriented on one human. If her name is Gloria you're a Gloriasexual. If his name is Luke you're a Lukosexual. If you're poly then you're polysexual. This notion of gay, lesbian, or bisexual is an exaggeration.
And you are neither cisgender nor transgender, you're just you. There's no need to categorize. You are you. You're pronouns are you/yours, or my/mine, or ...
I got to thinking about this because a person posted to the Nonbinary subreddit about not liking her breasts, but otherwise being OK with people viewing her as female. She wondered whether maybe she was nonbinary. I didn't engage with her, but I thought about -- why does having a gender matter? You don't like your breasts, that's fine. I don't like my belly. I kind of wish my cock were bigger, even though it is usually locked up and hasn't been touched sexually in over six months (not even by myself in over three months). I wonder about -- at this age -- spending money on orthodontia for nicer teeth --
Why does disliking your breasts have any greater descriptive, cultural, or psychosocial weight than disliking your nose? This cultural obsession with assigning gender to people at birth makes it far more transgressive if you dislike something related to your assigned gender, than if you dislike ANYTHING ELSE about yourself or the universe. I don't like capitalism, I'm transideological. I was assigned Catholicism at birth, but I rejected it, I experienced religious dysphoria.
If I wanted to play on the girls team instead of the boys team, or if I wanted to mix up the boys and the girls on the same team, this is viewed as so destructive to society that it must become illegal. But if I don't like my shoes nobody is going to pay much attention to me, just wear different shoes.
Culture has decided there are things I may easily and regularly choose for myself, and things I may not. This is the root of the issue. If you can ignore culture, and choose whatever you want for yourself, then so what? I feel this meditation is a kind of anarchism. Nonbinary is the anarchism of gender. Transgender identities are a kind of opposition to the system of assigning genders at birth, but they still believe in the concepts of male and female genders.
T was telling me a joke about how parents of newborns should have "Gender Conceal" parties instead of "Gender Reveal" parties, but I'd support having "Gender is Fake" parties. Welcome into this world, Pat, you're neither a boy nor a girl and you never will be, and all these societal gender traps signify nothing, they are empty and powerless,
As I am now powerless before the Monarch of Sleep. We'll see what I think of these words in the morning.