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I loved the party, but it’s so much work, leaves me like some sort of floating anime balloon, the next day I need to fly solo
I wouldn't call it "mass transit" anymore, there were at most four or five people on my car (seats 184?) during my journey from Glenmont to Dupont Circle, so I don't think continuing to run these trains is at all energy efficient right now.
But so long as they're running this 90,000-pound car downtown I should add my 180 pounds to it, instead of driving my own gasoline car.
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T decided to get rid of me today instead of tomorrow, having received sufficient emotional support and free labor this week -- he needs Time to Self now, so thanks to the condo being available to me he can have some. And so can I!
Warming up butt! Watching porn! Reading work emails, LOL.
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Dax vet visit was a bust, the vet had already left for the day! So all they did was take the blood and poop to run tests, no chance to discuss the situation. That's NOT what we expected. Perhaps T did not communicate these expectations to the staff. We'll have the conversation via phone on Monday. Meanwhile, Dax has been pretty happy, not like he was when I got home back on Sunday.
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BTW, K raised the point that in 2021 concerns about overpopulation are racist and based on myths. I will take this charge seriously, read what people have to say about it, and then respond. But I'm pretty sure my own concerns about overpopulation are not racist, not based on any feeling that there's too many poor POC banging on the doors of the wealthier white countries. I'd open the doors to all of them and share everything we've got equally. Under Green Communism there'd be no wealthier white countries, no poorer POC countries, just all of us sharing the same boat.
Plus, I'd do the climate a much better favor by helping an affluent white woman avoid pregnancy than a poor POC woman. The affluent kid would burn a helluva lot more CO2 during its lifetime. [There, I did it, I referred to a gender-unknown person as "it" and the paragraph didn't burn down.] So I'm not trying to exterminate POC, quite the opposite, I'm trying to exterminate white people LOL.
But so long as they're running this 90,000-pound car downtown I should add my 180 pounds to it, instead of driving my own gasoline car.
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T decided to get rid of me today instead of tomorrow, having received sufficient emotional support and free labor this week -- he needs Time to Self now, so thanks to the condo being available to me he can have some. And so can I!
Warming up butt! Watching porn! Reading work emails, LOL.
-----
Dax vet visit was a bust, the vet had already left for the day! So all they did was take the blood and poop to run tests, no chance to discuss the situation. That's NOT what we expected. Perhaps T did not communicate these expectations to the staff. We'll have the conversation via phone on Monday. Meanwhile, Dax has been pretty happy, not like he was when I got home back on Sunday.
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BTW, K raised the point that in 2021 concerns about overpopulation are racist and based on myths. I will take this charge seriously, read what people have to say about it, and then respond. But I'm pretty sure my own concerns about overpopulation are not racist, not based on any feeling that there's too many poor POC banging on the doors of the wealthier white countries. I'd open the doors to all of them and share everything we've got equally. Under Green Communism there'd be no wealthier white countries, no poorer POC countries, just all of us sharing the same boat.
Plus, I'd do the climate a much better favor by helping an affluent white woman avoid pregnancy than a poor POC woman. The affluent kid would burn a helluva lot more CO2 during its lifetime. [There, I did it, I referred to a gender-unknown person as "it" and the paragraph didn't burn down.] So I'm not trying to exterminate POC, quite the opposite, I'm trying to exterminate white people LOL.
Due to a work emergency, T had to cancel his sleepover at B's. But then both of my afternoon meetings were canceled, so with nothing to do and suddenly feeling CROWDED at the house I packed up and left for the condo. I'm at the condo now, taking the afternoon off, warming up my butt for toys and watching two screens of porn. I missed my toys over the weekend! Yay toys! This one feels excellent (Gape Keeper 93). I have no meetings tomorrow until the afternoon, so I can let loose tonight!
T and I agreed to both avoid Metro for another week, but soon I will experience mass transit for the first time in over a year ...
K got his first shot yesterday, other close friends are getting theirs or have scheduled theirs, it is starting to feel like everybody who wants a shot can get one if they have computer skillz and independent transportation.
So what percentage of the population actually wants a shot bad enough to go get one? I bet we'll know soon. I'm thinking we'll slow down around 150 million. That's a pure guess, heh.
T and I agreed to both avoid Metro for another week, but soon I will experience mass transit for the first time in over a year ...
K got his first shot yesterday, other close friends are getting theirs or have scheduled theirs, it is starting to feel like everybody who wants a shot can get one if they have computer skillz and independent transportation.
So what percentage of the population actually wants a shot bad enough to go get one? I bet we'll know soon. I'm thinking we'll slow down around 150 million. That's a pure guess, heh.
This morning was a very low-drama Maids Day prep. I corralled the cats easily without T's help, we got everything ready ahead of time. The drive to the condo went well. Upon arrival I stretched, foam rolled, and then did yoga. Now I've ordered my meals for the day. After I eat the first one I'll dive into the two tasks I want to complete today. I have a couple meetings this afternoon, then I'll head back to the house and will probably cook dinner -- T deserves a break from cooking.
I'm hopeful about getting tomorrow night to myself at the house! T hasn't spent a night away in a long time :-)
Four days since my first shot, it feels like longer.
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As I've advocated that we should not give anybody a second dose until after everybody who wants one has received a first dose, it feels weird to me that I was set up with a second dose appointment even before I showed up for my first dose. I think other places may do it differently, but CVS set me up with both appointments at once. There's not necessarily a way for me to put this on hold such that somebody else who needs it more would get my second dose.
It's like so many other things in life and politics that I advocate for, while I continue living my life of relative privilege. Stop buying cars, I say, while I continue driving a car. Although I'm moving closer to the day when I start making big changes in my life. So many things froze in amber for the past year.
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But I'm struggling with the standard prescription that I should wait until two weeks after my second dose (May 6) before I relax any of my personal restrictions. It doesn't take that long for the Pfizer vaccine to start working, according to lots of the data I've seen. It starts working between 10-14 days after the first dose (Pfizer called it at 10 days), and is fully effective within a week after the second dose (Pfizer called it at 7 days). So it's pushing it if I take Metro this coming weekend, but a week from today I should be able to start reducing my guard.
I'll discuss riding Metro this weekend with Public Health Friend before I do it. But if not this weekend, definitely the next weekend.
I already spoke yesterday with B about using Metro. He says he feels relatively safe using it because ridership is way down and people are generally following the rules about masking and distancing. He's not on the train that long and doesn't swing through the most crowded stations downtown. The cars are ventilated, and he's prioritized certain cars and seats where he knows the density is lower (more people in center cars, fewer on the ends). If somebody isn't following the rules to his satisfaction he can switch to another car at the next stop.
If I rode Metro to the condo on a Friday, back to the house on a Sunday, I wouldn't be on a train during rush hour either way. Even before the Pandemic sometimes I'd be the only person on the car on a Sunday. That always felt spooky.
So, I'll be thinking "out loud" in my journal over the next couple months as I try to figure out my new comfort zones. There's a lot of stuff I've put off or avoided until After the Vaccine and I'll have to start deciding which of these things to start doing again. Dentist, haircut, servicing my car (I did that once during Quarantine with T's help, it is due again), annual physical. The haircut is the most urgent of these things, I need to either schedule the cut for next week or cut it myself this week.
Maybe I'll put off Metro one more week, and for some less urgent things I can wait until after April 29th. But my brain will start adjusting to the new odds soon, starting next week.
I suspect this week will be the slowest week of the Pandemic, heh. The past four days have already felt so slow!
I'm hopeful about getting tomorrow night to myself at the house! T hasn't spent a night away in a long time :-)
Four days since my first shot, it feels like longer.
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As I've advocated that we should not give anybody a second dose until after everybody who wants one has received a first dose, it feels weird to me that I was set up with a second dose appointment even before I showed up for my first dose. I think other places may do it differently, but CVS set me up with both appointments at once. There's not necessarily a way for me to put this on hold such that somebody else who needs it more would get my second dose.
It's like so many other things in life and politics that I advocate for, while I continue living my life of relative privilege. Stop buying cars, I say, while I continue driving a car. Although I'm moving closer to the day when I start making big changes in my life. So many things froze in amber for the past year.
-----
But I'm struggling with the standard prescription that I should wait until two weeks after my second dose (May 6) before I relax any of my personal restrictions. It doesn't take that long for the Pfizer vaccine to start working, according to lots of the data I've seen. It starts working between 10-14 days after the first dose (Pfizer called it at 10 days), and is fully effective within a week after the second dose (Pfizer called it at 7 days). So it's pushing it if I take Metro this coming weekend, but a week from today I should be able to start reducing my guard.
I'll discuss riding Metro this weekend with Public Health Friend before I do it. But if not this weekend, definitely the next weekend.
I already spoke yesterday with B about using Metro. He says he feels relatively safe using it because ridership is way down and people are generally following the rules about masking and distancing. He's not on the train that long and doesn't swing through the most crowded stations downtown. The cars are ventilated, and he's prioritized certain cars and seats where he knows the density is lower (more people in center cars, fewer on the ends). If somebody isn't following the rules to his satisfaction he can switch to another car at the next stop.
If I rode Metro to the condo on a Friday, back to the house on a Sunday, I wouldn't be on a train during rush hour either way. Even before the Pandemic sometimes I'd be the only person on the car on a Sunday. That always felt spooky.
So, I'll be thinking "out loud" in my journal over the next couple months as I try to figure out my new comfort zones. There's a lot of stuff I've put off or avoided until After the Vaccine and I'll have to start deciding which of these things to start doing again. Dentist, haircut, servicing my car (I did that once during Quarantine with T's help, it is due again), annual physical. The haircut is the most urgent of these things, I need to either schedule the cut for next week or cut it myself this week.
Maybe I'll put off Metro one more week, and for some less urgent things I can wait until after April 29th. But my brain will start adjusting to the new odds soon, starting next week.
I suspect this week will be the slowest week of the Pandemic, heh. The past four days have already felt so slow!
Friday afternoon off!
26 March 2021 15:03I quit work at 1pm and DID NOT bring my work laptop with me to the condo :-) Freedom! Freedom! Bug is on the loose!
I still have my Blackberry app to check emails, but leaving my work laptop behind feels so liberating!!
I'm expecting two nights here, but I'll check with T tomorrow; he wasn't looking thrilled as I left, but perhaps it had nothing to do with me. His life does not revolve around me, and I did give him a chance to weigh in on my upcoming absence. If he actually wanted to spend time with me, I'd gladly do that, but I don't want to hang out as his emotional support human while he plays video games all weekend. I suspect he occasionally has individual visitors when I'm not there, and keeps quiet about it. I could surprise him by turning on the front door camera, LOL. Nah, I don't care, I don't need to spy.
Chatted with K again this morning, he was up late, I was up early. He sounds like he misses me :-) I miss him!! Soon we'll both have our shots and can plan trips back and forth, but neither of us are eligible yet.
Put the FMJ back on when I got here. Maybe next week when I wear it for a run I can apply some silicone lube to my cock before I head out, maybe that would help? Worth a try as I wait for my cock to adapt to the FMJ's solid tube.
My weightlifting has slowly but steadily been improving and so have my muscles, as in visibly so. I'm starting to look like a fucking jock in my tighter t-shirts. Legs are also looking better from the lunges and squats. I probably haven't worked out so regularly, routinely, since I was living alone in SW DC, back during the first GWB administration. When we return to the office I'm gonna wanna keep working out this often, which will be a challenge with the commute. If I can work from home two days per week it will be a lot easier. Or I could just work out early in the morning instead of surfing the Internet and typing in my LJ. But T and I might start competing for gym time then.
I'm happy that I've kept my Book of the Week thing going, even if I did lose a week. I was afraid I couldn't commit to it when I fell behind, but it was really because work and socializing spiked, and because the book itself was so distracting, leading me to pause often for listening to contextual music. I can read super quickly when I concentrate.
I'm excited that I might start finishing a book per week as a habit, there are lots of books I would like to have finished.
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Horny Bug, caged again, watching porn and warming up my butt -- 75 days since orgasm, and I've stuck to my new regime of no orgasm until another fella gives me permission in person, or I pay a fine. The public promise to all of you, plus the sizeable fine, have kept me in line for 75 days.
It occurred to me that locking up my cock like I do could be viewed as gender nonconforming, another point in my nonbinary column. Also, relying on butt toys, bottoming, and fisting for my sexual pleasure, instead of topping or masturbating. Since writing that essay "as a nonbinary" I've thought more about how AMAB who is sexually/romantically attracted to males is VERY MUCH gender nonconforming, but back when I was 17 the main identity option for this orientation was "gay" not "nonbinary". I think if nonbinary had been an option when I was a teen, I would've embraced it back then, or even earlier, perhaps even in elementary school (it's why I wrote on Reddit about ANAB). To me, nonbinary just makes sense -- doesn't require much adjustment on my part, it simply expresses my pre-existing nonconforming status, especially at this age. [And I'd probably have found myself attracted to some AFAB nonbinary folks if they'd existed back then.]
I may have sounded sort of skeptical of the whole nonbinary thing in my essay, but I was more skeptical of how various people perceive the requirements or culture surrounding the identity. I'm totally pro being nonbinary myself, and affirming other people as nonbinary. I kind of wish everybody were nonbinary, I think the world would be a better place. I own a t-shirt that says "Gender is Fake", but neither T nor K liked me wearing it, I'm sure for different reasons, but it is confrontational rather than self-affirming.
But Gender is Fake. Gender is Fake!!
So is race, but that's another essay.
I still have my Blackberry app to check emails, but leaving my work laptop behind feels so liberating!!
I'm expecting two nights here, but I'll check with T tomorrow; he wasn't looking thrilled as I left, but perhaps it had nothing to do with me. His life does not revolve around me, and I did give him a chance to weigh in on my upcoming absence. If he actually wanted to spend time with me, I'd gladly do that, but I don't want to hang out as his emotional support human while he plays video games all weekend. I suspect he occasionally has individual visitors when I'm not there, and keeps quiet about it. I could surprise him by turning on the front door camera, LOL. Nah, I don't care, I don't need to spy.
Chatted with K again this morning, he was up late, I was up early. He sounds like he misses me :-) I miss him!! Soon we'll both have our shots and can plan trips back and forth, but neither of us are eligible yet.
Put the FMJ back on when I got here. Maybe next week when I wear it for a run I can apply some silicone lube to my cock before I head out, maybe that would help? Worth a try as I wait for my cock to adapt to the FMJ's solid tube.
My weightlifting has slowly but steadily been improving and so have my muscles, as in visibly so. I'm starting to look like a fucking jock in my tighter t-shirts. Legs are also looking better from the lunges and squats. I probably haven't worked out so regularly, routinely, since I was living alone in SW DC, back during the first GWB administration. When we return to the office I'm gonna wanna keep working out this often, which will be a challenge with the commute. If I can work from home two days per week it will be a lot easier. Or I could just work out early in the morning instead of surfing the Internet and typing in my LJ. But T and I might start competing for gym time then.
I'm happy that I've kept my Book of the Week thing going, even if I did lose a week. I was afraid I couldn't commit to it when I fell behind, but it was really because work and socializing spiked, and because the book itself was so distracting, leading me to pause often for listening to contextual music. I can read super quickly when I concentrate.
I'm excited that I might start finishing a book per week as a habit, there are lots of books I would like to have finished.
-----
Horny Bug, caged again, watching porn and warming up my butt -- 75 days since orgasm, and I've stuck to my new regime of no orgasm until another fella gives me permission in person, or I pay a fine. The public promise to all of you, plus the sizeable fine, have kept me in line for 75 days.
It occurred to me that locking up my cock like I do could be viewed as gender nonconforming, another point in my nonbinary column. Also, relying on butt toys, bottoming, and fisting for my sexual pleasure, instead of topping or masturbating. Since writing that essay "as a nonbinary" I've thought more about how AMAB who is sexually/romantically attracted to males is VERY MUCH gender nonconforming, but back when I was 17 the main identity option for this orientation was "gay" not "nonbinary". I think if nonbinary had been an option when I was a teen, I would've embraced it back then, or even earlier, perhaps even in elementary school (it's why I wrote on Reddit about ANAB). To me, nonbinary just makes sense -- doesn't require much adjustment on my part, it simply expresses my pre-existing nonconforming status, especially at this age. [And I'd probably have found myself attracted to some AFAB nonbinary folks if they'd existed back then.]
I may have sounded sort of skeptical of the whole nonbinary thing in my essay, but I was more skeptical of how various people perceive the requirements or culture surrounding the identity. I'm totally pro being nonbinary myself, and affirming other people as nonbinary. I kind of wish everybody were nonbinary, I think the world would be a better place. I own a t-shirt that says "Gender is Fake", but neither T nor K liked me wearing it, I'm sure for different reasons, but it is confrontational rather than self-affirming.
But Gender is Fake. Gender is Fake!!
So is race, but that's another essay.
Maids Monday again
8 March 2021 09:15This morning's Maids prep went about as well as it ever has, but traffic to the condo was heavy -- it seems more and more people are returning to in-person work formats as the Holiday Wave recedes and vaccinations ramp up.
Often I stretch and exercise when I get to the condo on a Maids Monday, before my work day gets started, and I have time for that this morning but I'm not feeling it. I could stretch now and maybe exercise later in the day, between 1 & 3pm, on a late lunch break.
Maybe it's because two weeks ago, on the last Maids Monday, that's when I ate the meal that gave me the food poisoning, or maybe I just need a break from trying to exercise on EVERY work day.
I'll probably run/lift/hike/run the next four days anway ... we'll see ... I'll probably exercise this afternoon anyway, after I relax this morning.
Dax is on a hunger strike this morning, possibly due to the antibiotic pills we're giving him for his liver. Sigh. On Sunday morning while I wasn't there, T tried to sweeten the deal by pouring bacon grease over Dax's bowl of food and pills, and now Dax is holding out for similar sweeteners. Sometimes with older pets trying to treat their chronic ailments starts to bring on more troubles. I like to treat Dax from time to time, but I'm not going to bargain with him. You don't want your breakfast, then you don't get breakfast.
I already know ahead of time that B is going to spend the night at the house this Friday. I'm thinking I might want to socialize with B & T if they're willing, and then head to the condo on Saturday for only one night. Two nights to myself week after week can feel like too much when the only human I'm seeing is T, I guess. I should also do more reaching out to the important people in my life, although part of my mood on Saturday was pouting that "they should reach out to me more". Yet, I choose my relationships for the level of independence they allow me, so I shouldn't play those kinds of mind games in which I fail to communicate my desire to communicate and then hold it against people for leaving me alone. It's that ancient tug of insecurity, of wanting to feel arbitrarily important and in control.
Often I stretch and exercise when I get to the condo on a Maids Monday, before my work day gets started, and I have time for that this morning but I'm not feeling it. I could stretch now and maybe exercise later in the day, between 1 & 3pm, on a late lunch break.
Maybe it's because two weeks ago, on the last Maids Monday, that's when I ate the meal that gave me the food poisoning, or maybe I just need a break from trying to exercise on EVERY work day.
I'll probably run/lift/hike/run the next four days anway ... we'll see ... I'll probably exercise this afternoon anyway, after I relax this morning.
Dax is on a hunger strike this morning, possibly due to the antibiotic pills we're giving him for his liver. Sigh. On Sunday morning while I wasn't there, T tried to sweeten the deal by pouring bacon grease over Dax's bowl of food and pills, and now Dax is holding out for similar sweeteners. Sometimes with older pets trying to treat their chronic ailments starts to bring on more troubles. I like to treat Dax from time to time, but I'm not going to bargain with him. You don't want your breakfast, then you don't get breakfast.
I already know ahead of time that B is going to spend the night at the house this Friday. I'm thinking I might want to socialize with B & T if they're willing, and then head to the condo on Saturday for only one night. Two nights to myself week after week can feel like too much when the only human I'm seeing is T, I guess. I should also do more reaching out to the important people in my life, although part of my mood on Saturday was pouting that "they should reach out to me more". Yet, I choose my relationships for the level of independence they allow me, so I shouldn't play those kinds of mind games in which I fail to communicate my desire to communicate and then hold it against people for leaving me alone. It's that ancient tug of insecurity, of wanting to feel arbitrarily important and in control.
Was officially feeling lonely and Quarantine-fatigued, 56 days of cock-locked horniness feeding a trenchant desire to snuggle with an adult fella, but I sat with my emotions and I'm feeling a bit better. I remembered how I wrote that post about how I (and others) should reach out when I'm feeling lonely, but did I do that? Nope. But, I'm feeling I can do this for three more months. Sigh. It's not forever, not the end of the world, but some days I feel it.
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Remembering how when I went to Durham for Moogfest all by myself for three nights, I still had the apps to entertain me by dangling the possibility of hooking up with the local guys. I remember being flaked on down there, heh, and the Duke student who wanted to literally kick my locked balls because of his intense Daddy issues ... I passed, that sounded uniquely dangerous, to have my locked balls vigorously smashed between boot soles and 3-D printed nylon.
I mean, a touch of ball torture can be fun, but I think this guy had deeper issues.
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Teen Wolf continues with the serious shortage of shirts for their hot male lead actors :-)
I had a large lunch, has taken a while to digest. I think in a bit I'll venture out for more alcohol and then I'll have another toy evening. It felt great last night to have a healthy butt again, though I did take it easy. Maybe I can go wider and deeper tonight.
And I had a great night listening to music, like I haven't in a long time! And then fell asleep listening to an audiobook that I've already read, waking every so often, hearing more of the story wherever it was, and then falling asleep again, ... but it's a story about improbable love followed by heartbreak, so ... not so helpful with the lonely feeling. I'm gonna be so available for dates and hookups in a few months :-)
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Remembering how when I went to Durham for Moogfest all by myself for three nights, I still had the apps to entertain me by dangling the possibility of hooking up with the local guys. I remember being flaked on down there, heh, and the Duke student who wanted to literally kick my locked balls because of his intense Daddy issues ... I passed, that sounded uniquely dangerous, to have my locked balls vigorously smashed between boot soles and 3-D printed nylon.
I mean, a touch of ball torture can be fun, but I think this guy had deeper issues.
-----
Teen Wolf continues with the serious shortage of shirts for their hot male lead actors :-)
I had a large lunch, has taken a while to digest. I think in a bit I'll venture out for more alcohol and then I'll have another toy evening. It felt great last night to have a healthy butt again, though I did take it easy. Maybe I can go wider and deeper tonight.
And I had a great night listening to music, like I haven't in a long time! And then fell asleep listening to an audiobook that I've already read, waking every so often, hearing more of the story wherever it was, and then falling asleep again, ... but it's a story about improbable love followed by heartbreak, so ... not so helpful with the lonely feeling. I'm gonna be so available for dates and hookups in a few months :-)
Today was crazy busy! But I was still able to quit work at 3pm. For me, "busy" usually means my work day is packed instead of lazy, I rarely have to work late or on weekends unless I want to, for the purpose of feeling caught up on Monday morning. And I took Dax on a sub-freezing hike before starting my work day. And now I'm here at the condo until Sunday, so, it's all good.
My butt is back to normal!!!!!! Stupid food poisoning.
Yesterday and today have felt super busy to the point where I'm starting to worry I have early onset dementia, my brain was worn out when I crawled into bed last night, and my fingers weren't working correctly as I was typing, about one typo per word was hopping onto the screen. Lots of backspacing. I was pretty worried about Dax, it seems, between not really wanting him to have surgery, and then having my wish fulfilled only because his liver is ... something something's not right.
But Dax is the same Dax! He loved his hike this morning! He was a little tired and stiff afterward, though. But so was I. I think Dax is older than I am now. Old Man Dax! He can't go running anymore, his liver is inflamed, he sleeps all day. But he's as happy as ever to snuggle, to go on walks and hikes, to eat his meals. He's a happy dog. And he's in good shape for an old man, sorta like I am ;-)
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I hear of more and more people I know "in person" getting their shots now. And then their second shots. In MoCo the age has dropped from 75+ to 65+. I am fucking determined to live long enough to get my own shot(s) damn it. I'm probably going to hunker down completely until then, I don't want to waste a year of Quarantine when the end is in sight.
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So, when T and B were discussing going to a museum on Sunday, and asked me whether I was interested, I said no. Even though the website was all about how they are SOCIAL DISTANCING and such. Nope. I'm not spending hours indoors with strangers, no matter how many masks they wear, no matter how many feet away they are. I remember when T went to his socially distant yoga weekend and then came back sick with a respiratory virus that we had to assume was COVID. Nope. I'm not going to do anyfuckingthing except house and condo and in between until this is over.
Except for darting into the beer/wine convenience store for a couple minutes to grab some alcohol. I still haven't purchased any liquor yet since last year, since before the Holiday Wave.
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I've sold all three of my 2021 play money trades now, and all three earned a profit. I think I will never sell a stock index short again, as that (short sale of QQQ) was the only losing trade I've had of all my several play money trades stretching back into the year before last. Broad stock indices are too irrational for selling short! They've been climbing relentlessly for decades now, and this cannot possibly go on forever, but I'm not going to fight the standard advice that everybody should invest in stocks forever no matter what. My play money trades will focus elsewhere.
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It actually feels relaxing to not have a play money trade right now. It's work to investigate, plan, and monitor these trades.
Again, all my profits are going to charity 10x or more.
My retirement account is in full defensive mode, and has been for several months now. I don't play around with that pile of money, that pile has to last me some unknown number of decades (but between 0-5, I don't expect to live beyond 103).
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Experimenting with Spotify is going well so far. I upgraded to Premium because I don't mind paying if the service meets my needs, and I want to play with all the options before deciding whether to keep it or not. There's so much mediocre music in the world I question why I'd want to create my own album, even if completing this project is probably several years in the future. Mainly, here it is --> spending time creating my own music helps me to appreciate other musicians' work SO MUCH MORE! I have a much more critical ear now then I used to. I often feel like I know what was going through their minds, what they were asking their DAWs to do. Truly, it's more about music appreciation than creation. But if I end up liking what I create, so much the better.
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And, that's a wrap, now I can focus on butt play to an extent I could not last weekend, and listen to music like I haven't since last October :-)
My butt is back to normal!!!!!! Stupid food poisoning.
Yesterday and today have felt super busy to the point where I'm starting to worry I have early onset dementia, my brain was worn out when I crawled into bed last night, and my fingers weren't working correctly as I was typing, about one typo per word was hopping onto the screen. Lots of backspacing. I was pretty worried about Dax, it seems, between not really wanting him to have surgery, and then having my wish fulfilled only because his liver is ... something something's not right.
But Dax is the same Dax! He loved his hike this morning! He was a little tired and stiff afterward, though. But so was I. I think Dax is older than I am now. Old Man Dax! He can't go running anymore, his liver is inflamed, he sleeps all day. But he's as happy as ever to snuggle, to go on walks and hikes, to eat his meals. He's a happy dog. And he's in good shape for an old man, sorta like I am ;-)
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I hear of more and more people I know "in person" getting their shots now. And then their second shots. In MoCo the age has dropped from 75+ to 65+. I am fucking determined to live long enough to get my own shot(s) damn it. I'm probably going to hunker down completely until then, I don't want to waste a year of Quarantine when the end is in sight.
-----
So, when T and B were discussing going to a museum on Sunday, and asked me whether I was interested, I said no. Even though the website was all about how they are SOCIAL DISTANCING and such. Nope. I'm not spending hours indoors with strangers, no matter how many masks they wear, no matter how many feet away they are. I remember when T went to his socially distant yoga weekend and then came back sick with a respiratory virus that we had to assume was COVID. Nope. I'm not going to do anyfuckingthing except house and condo and in between until this is over.
Except for darting into the beer/wine convenience store for a couple minutes to grab some alcohol. I still haven't purchased any liquor yet since last year, since before the Holiday Wave.
-----
I've sold all three of my 2021 play money trades now, and all three earned a profit. I think I will never sell a stock index short again, as that (short sale of QQQ) was the only losing trade I've had of all my several play money trades stretching back into the year before last. Broad stock indices are too irrational for selling short! They've been climbing relentlessly for decades now, and this cannot possibly go on forever, but I'm not going to fight the standard advice that everybody should invest in stocks forever no matter what. My play money trades will focus elsewhere.
-----
It actually feels relaxing to not have a play money trade right now. It's work to investigate, plan, and monitor these trades.
Again, all my profits are going to charity 10x or more.
My retirement account is in full defensive mode, and has been for several months now. I don't play around with that pile of money, that pile has to last me some unknown number of decades (but between 0-5, I don't expect to live beyond 103).
-----
Experimenting with Spotify is going well so far. I upgraded to Premium because I don't mind paying if the service meets my needs, and I want to play with all the options before deciding whether to keep it or not. There's so much mediocre music in the world I question why I'd want to create my own album, even if completing this project is probably several years in the future. Mainly, here it is --> spending time creating my own music helps me to appreciate other musicians' work SO MUCH MORE! I have a much more critical ear now then I used to. I often feel like I know what was going through their minds, what they were asking their DAWs to do. Truly, it's more about music appreciation than creation. But if I end up liking what I create, so much the better.
-----
And, that's a wrap, now I can focus on butt play to an extent I could not last weekend, and listen to music like I haven't since last October :-)
I closed out my short sale of long-term Treasury bonds with a 12% profit, and my purchase of a commodity index with a 10% profit. I think these trades would likely bring more profit in the future, but I was pleased to have made the right bets. My play money account isn't to make big bucks, it's to "put money where mouth is" in addition to LJ punditry.
I'm not sure what I'll trade next, but Fidelity finally approved my application to trade options, so I'll spend some time learning about those.
-----
My innards are quiet this morning, yay! Some lingering soreness, I put some cortisone cream on that spot. I'll wait to see whether I need the OTC meds.
I've ordered breakfast from one of my standard restaurants, then I've got the entire day and night to chill :-)
Steve and I agreed to have a snuggle date after we're both vaccinated. I miss snuggles! I get an occasional hug from T, but he's not been into snuggles for years. The pets are my main source of snuggles these days -- Dax and Astrid more than Sam.
I'm not sure what I'll trade next, but Fidelity finally approved my application to trade options, so I'll spend some time learning about those.
-----
My innards are quiet this morning, yay! Some lingering soreness, I put some cortisone cream on that spot. I'll wait to see whether I need the OTC meds.
I've ordered breakfast from one of my standard restaurants, then I've got the entire day and night to chill :-)
Steve and I agreed to have a snuggle date after we're both vaccinated. I miss snuggles! I get an occasional hug from T, but he's not been into snuggles for years. The pets are my main source of snuggles these days -- Dax and Astrid more than Sam.
How did it take me six hours to rewatch this film?
So, I don't need a big blowout butt toy night to enjoy the condo, I can watch an old fave film and chat with peeps and deal with after-6pm work emergencies, and
stuff.
So far my GI tract is behaving here ... but is that the OTC drugs or actual healing? I'll find out in a couple days, I guess? Probably both? Hoping I don't need a doctor visit for this crap, but it's been difficult, I mean, they don't call it "food poisoning" because it's fun.
didn't think I'd be up this late, haven't had caffeine or chocolate and didn't sleep much last night, but, like I wrote before, I don't stress about sleep during Quarantine, I sleep a lot, or I don't, whenever, it feels sort of hunter-gatherer, before we all figured out time and clocks and alarms,
I'm awake when I need to be, and when I don't need to be I'm either awake or asleep. That's how it used to be, before the discovery of time.
So, I don't need a big blowout butt toy night to enjoy the condo, I can watch an old fave film and chat with peeps and deal with after-6pm work emergencies, and
stuff.
So far my GI tract is behaving here ... but is that the OTC drugs or actual healing? I'll find out in a couple days, I guess? Probably both? Hoping I don't need a doctor visit for this crap, but it's been difficult, I mean, they don't call it "food poisoning" because it's fun.
didn't think I'd be up this late, haven't had caffeine or chocolate and didn't sleep much last night, but, like I wrote before, I don't stress about sleep during Quarantine, I sleep a lot, or I don't, whenever, it feels sort of hunter-gatherer, before we all figured out time and clocks and alarms,
I'm awake when I need to be, and when I don't need to be I'm either awake or asleep. That's how it used to be, before the discovery of time.
Dancing Bug
22 February 2021 10:29I remembered that the third video from that original dance set was difficult, and when I woke this morning I didn't think I'd be able to do anything vigorous today. I'd had such vivid dreams about sex, woke up with blue balls at 3am, then had more vivid dreams about sex and BDSM -- I could feel that guy's cock entering me -- I could feel that electromagnetic probe whacking my belly -- I woke exhausted.
But Maids Day prep went well, I'd already cleaned the kitchen the night before, and the house wasn't that messy. We collected the cats easily and I was on my way by 8am.
Got here, felt more awake, stretched, then started that third dance video. I had to take a few Gatorade breaks to catch my breath, but it was good. After I cool down a bit I'll do an abs video, then I'll order food.
I moved one meeting until tomorrow, so my only meeting of the day is at 3pm. I've got a work task due today, and if I have time left over I've got one more class to catch up.
Weather should be improving this week, sunny and 60s on Wednesday. If I can lift weights tomorrow, run on Wednesday, yoga on Thursday, something aerobic again on Friday ... my [work & exercise & cook] routine during the week, my [butt toys & binge TV & games w/ Steve] routine on the weekend ... until it feels safe to socialize again.
Should get my tax refunds this week, in time to pay for Dax's surgery next week, and then the goal is to get T caught up on the bills next month.
But Maids Day prep went well, I'd already cleaned the kitchen the night before, and the house wasn't that messy. We collected the cats easily and I was on my way by 8am.
Got here, felt more awake, stretched, then started that third dance video. I had to take a few Gatorade breaks to catch my breath, but it was good. After I cool down a bit I'll do an abs video, then I'll order food.
I moved one meeting until tomorrow, so my only meeting of the day is at 3pm. I've got a work task due today, and if I have time left over I've got one more class to catch up.
Weather should be improving this week, sunny and 60s on Wednesday. If I can lift weights tomorrow, run on Wednesday, yoga on Thursday, something aerobic again on Friday ... my [work & exercise & cook] routine during the week, my [butt toys & binge TV & games w/ Steve] routine on the weekend ... until it feels safe to socialize again.
Should get my tax refunds this week, in time to pay for Dax's surgery next week, and then the goal is to get T caught up on the bills next month.
I woke at 7am, ate my leftovers from yesterday, and now I'm relaxing. Usually when I'm here (at the condo) on a Sunday morning, I'm getting ready to head back to the house, but T doesn't want me back until 6pm because of the virtual class/retreat he's doing.
I'm back to feeling super horny, now inside the metal cage. The prospect of paying a fine is only barely deterring me from unlocking and having an orgasm. I much prefer the metal cage, I guess I'm in it until I either unlock for $$$ or receive the FMJ.
But I kinda want to unlock today and have an orgasm, after 42 days, paying the damn fine anyway. ???
-----
I thought today I would catch up on work stuff, do some cleaning of surfaces. I expect to play games with Steve & Friends. Will need to have lunch delivered. Perhaps today will feel more like I actually live here ... and then I'm back here tomorrow because of Maids Day.
Man, I really like how the metal cage looks on me so much better than the Leopard. And it fits perfectly.
-----
I miss non-T humans!
-----
T set up the space heater in the sun room yesterday to preserve the plants from the coldest night of this winter so far. But now we're getting a warming trend, may hit 60 degrees on Wednesday. Before we know it, springtime will return, and we'll hit our one-year Quarantine anniversary. Hopefully there won't be a second anniversary.
It's difficult to imagine going back to normal and catching colds & flus again, sharing packed Metro cars with coughing & sneezing passengers again. I think I'd like to continue working from home a couple days per week? Those could be my basement gym or hiking with Dax days. Ooooh, watching the forest coming back from winter will be fun. The budding leaves and flowers, the insects and birds. Sitting in the hot tub will be fun again -- it's been too cold for that lately. I've used the hot tub far less during Quarantine than I'd have expected.
Anyway ... I should clean up the condo and do some work.
I'm back to feeling super horny, now inside the metal cage. The prospect of paying a fine is only barely deterring me from unlocking and having an orgasm. I much prefer the metal cage, I guess I'm in it until I either unlock for $$$ or receive the FMJ.
But I kinda want to unlock today and have an orgasm, after 42 days, paying the damn fine anyway. ???
-----
I thought today I would catch up on work stuff, do some cleaning of surfaces. I expect to play games with Steve & Friends. Will need to have lunch delivered. Perhaps today will feel more like I actually live here ... and then I'm back here tomorrow because of Maids Day.
Man, I really like how the metal cage looks on me so much better than the Leopard. And it fits perfectly.
-----
I miss non-T humans!
-----
T set up the space heater in the sun room yesterday to preserve the plants from the coldest night of this winter so far. But now we're getting a warming trend, may hit 60 degrees on Wednesday. Before we know it, springtime will return, and we'll hit our one-year Quarantine anniversary. Hopefully there won't be a second anniversary.
It's difficult to imagine going back to normal and catching colds & flus again, sharing packed Metro cars with coughing & sneezing passengers again. I think I'd like to continue working from home a couple days per week? Those could be my basement gym or hiking with Dax days. Ooooh, watching the forest coming back from winter will be fun. The budding leaves and flowers, the insects and birds. Sitting in the hot tub will be fun again -- it's been too cold for that lately. I've used the hot tub far less during Quarantine than I'd have expected.
Anyway ... I should clean up the condo and do some work.
Woke so early, as if I were at the house. Had a delivery breakfast, but with enough food for later if I want more.
Feels strange hanging out naked without a cage on my cock, look at that thing. I wish it were bigger, LOL. I think I'll switch back to the custom metal cage for a while, that shouldn't rub the chafed glans in the same way as the Leopard was.
I don't think I'm in danger of having an orgasm while I'm free, I wasn't in the midst of a super horny wave when this happened. Those waves arise and fall when you get this far into chastity -- 41 days. The body cannot sustain super horniness forever, is my experience.
I ordered a couple of new toys for the condo last night, my budget has been good, I had some extra to spare.
Watching more Outlander, 3rd season now. I have no idea why last night I suddenly wanted to rewatch The Terminator and then T2, no idea, spontaneity. But if you want to travel back to the 1980s for a while, they're your ticket.
Reading an introductory book on virology, heh. Why do viruses even exist?! Biology is complicated. We didn't even know viruses existed until the late 19th Century, and didn't see them until 1931. We only began to understand their structures in the 1950s.
I didn't become a scientist because I was too clumsy in the lab -- poor dexterity -- and I didn't remain a statistician because it felt too dry crunching numbers all day. Yet, I became a corporate tax attorney, talk about dry. Well, tax issues can be interesting, at the level where I work, I get all the unanswerable questions from all over the country. I think mainly I ended up with a job that paid well while remaining within 40 hours/week, because the attorneys where I work belong to a union. Unions are awesome for those of us who want to have lives outside of our careers.
I would never have survived working at a private law firm for 60 hours per week. But people do.
I'll have to leave the condo at some point to get alcohol, otherwise it's a toy and TV day. I remembered too late that I'll be here at the condo for the Steve & Friends game session and didn't bring my iPad along, but Steve said we can play browser-based games instead. So I won't be spending ALL DAY tomorrow on work stuff, but I really do want to catch up on work stuff as much as possible.
As I expected, a study came out showing the Pfizer vaccine is effective after only one dose, but I'm not seeing the authorities here in the US picking up on that result yet. We could be vaccinating twice as many people! Sigh. Bug is not in charge of the world.
Feels strange hanging out naked without a cage on my cock, look at that thing. I wish it were bigger, LOL. I think I'll switch back to the custom metal cage for a while, that shouldn't rub the chafed glans in the same way as the Leopard was.
I don't think I'm in danger of having an orgasm while I'm free, I wasn't in the midst of a super horny wave when this happened. Those waves arise and fall when you get this far into chastity -- 41 days. The body cannot sustain super horniness forever, is my experience.
I ordered a couple of new toys for the condo last night, my budget has been good, I had some extra to spare.
Watching more Outlander, 3rd season now. I have no idea why last night I suddenly wanted to rewatch The Terminator and then T2, no idea, spontaneity. But if you want to travel back to the 1980s for a while, they're your ticket.
Reading an introductory book on virology, heh. Why do viruses even exist?! Biology is complicated. We didn't even know viruses existed until the late 19th Century, and didn't see them until 1931. We only began to understand their structures in the 1950s.
I didn't become a scientist because I was too clumsy in the lab -- poor dexterity -- and I didn't remain a statistician because it felt too dry crunching numbers all day. Yet, I became a corporate tax attorney, talk about dry. Well, tax issues can be interesting, at the level where I work, I get all the unanswerable questions from all over the country. I think mainly I ended up with a job that paid well while remaining within 40 hours/week, because the attorneys where I work belong to a union. Unions are awesome for those of us who want to have lives outside of our careers.
I would never have survived working at a private law firm for 60 hours per week. But people do.
I'll have to leave the condo at some point to get alcohol, otherwise it's a toy and TV day. I remembered too late that I'll be here at the condo for the Steve & Friends game session and didn't bring my iPad along, but Steve said we can play browser-based games instead. So I won't be spending ALL DAY tomorrow on work stuff, but I really do want to catch up on work stuff as much as possible.
As I expected, a study came out showing the Pfizer vaccine is effective after only one dose, but I'm not seeing the authorities here in the US picking up on that result yet. We could be vaccinating twice as many people! Sigh. Bug is not in charge of the world.
chafing ...
19 February 2021 16:51I don't know what was going on in dreamland last night, my cock was super hard all night long, smashing into the cage, waking me frequently, and it hurt this morning, it felt like the skin was chafing. And it kept feeling this way as the morning progressed ... so I brought the frozen keys with me to the condo, and thawed them, and released my cock, and ...
Yup, there's some chafing on the top edge of the glans. So, I should either switch to the metal cage for a while, or have some free willy. For now, I'm free willy, with moisturizing lotion. I'd better not cum, or I'll have to pay the fine!
Chafing can occur with any design/material, hell you can chafe your penis even if you don't do chastity play. Sometimes I've chafed it during long runs, even while free willy.
I have no idea when the FMJ might arrive, if ever. I think I'll send them another email this weekend ... but I'll have to do something different from the Leopard for at least a few days to let my cockhead heal. I should set a final limit of two months -- if no FMJ after two months and no explanation via email then I'll request a refund from my credit card company. That feels reasonable for a small business making custom devices during a pandemic. Sigh.
So, I quit work at 2pm, been chillin' watching a film, not sure whether I like it or not, it either isn't good or it is a slow burn ... not sure yet ...
Probably here until 5pm Sunday. I think on Sunday I'll probably work -- will try to catch up on EVERYTHING, all admin, all cases, all classes, get totally caught up, earn some credit hours and then maybe take next Friday off for a 3-day weekend.
-----
Oh, it looks like when the temps broke above freezing this afternoon T was able to EASILY shovel the sleetstack, he sent me a pic of a clean driveway. Fucker. That was impossible while temps were below freezing. Absolutely fuckin' impossible.
Yup, there's some chafing on the top edge of the glans. So, I should either switch to the metal cage for a while, or have some free willy. For now, I'm free willy, with moisturizing lotion. I'd better not cum, or I'll have to pay the fine!
Chafing can occur with any design/material, hell you can chafe your penis even if you don't do chastity play. Sometimes I've chafed it during long runs, even while free willy.
I have no idea when the FMJ might arrive, if ever. I think I'll send them another email this weekend ... but I'll have to do something different from the Leopard for at least a few days to let my cockhead heal. I should set a final limit of two months -- if no FMJ after two months and no explanation via email then I'll request a refund from my credit card company. That feels reasonable for a small business making custom devices during a pandemic. Sigh.
So, I quit work at 2pm, been chillin' watching a film, not sure whether I like it or not, it either isn't good or it is a slow burn ... not sure yet ...
Probably here until 5pm Sunday. I think on Sunday I'll probably work -- will try to catch up on EVERYTHING, all admin, all cases, all classes, get totally caught up, earn some credit hours and then maybe take next Friday off for a 3-day weekend.
-----
Oh, it looks like when the temps broke above freezing this afternoon T was able to EASILY shovel the sleetstack, he sent me a pic of a clean driveway. Fucker. That was impossible while temps were below freezing. Absolutely fuckin' impossible.
An OCD lifestyle is repetitious enough during normal times, now ...
Back to condo, warming up for toy play, yep. Quit work at 1pm. I got here before 9am, thought I'd do a yoga or dance video, but was feeling worn out from my previous exercising this week, so I just stretched and then got to work.
The plan is I get another two nights to self at the house, while T is visiting B, but at the moment that feels like just barely enough Time to Self.
Custom Chastity went totally dark -- now I can't access my account and asking for a reset password does nothing, LOL. I'll just have to trust them to do their jobs and send me the FMJ. I'll give it another week before I inquire again.
The White House announced they've obtained enough vaccine doses to jab every adult twice -- by the end of July. Let's give them a month's wiggle room and say the end of August. Hopefully it will go faster. We're still stuck at a 75+ age cutoff here in suburban Maryland. I've seen quite a few young fellas on Twitter who work in health care brag about getting their shots, though. And shots are going to the military, to prisoners, to teachers, to police. But what about the 65+ Seniors who are at most risk?? Hang in there people, six months from now everybody who wants a shot will have received a shot. If it were up to me, I'd just go by birthdate to cover the oldest people first. Age is the biggest risk factor for COVID!
T is getting an emergency root canal this afternoon, poor guy. Between Dax's health care needs and T's dentistry, we've got some unusual expenses. Things may be tight for the next couple of months. But what would I spend money on anyway?
Figure that sometime this summer I'll have the vaccine and will move forward into the new normal. Until then, my repetitious life continues ... unless case counts come down far enough that I'll risk adding one fuckbuddy to my bubble.
Back to condo, warming up for toy play, yep. Quit work at 1pm. I got here before 9am, thought I'd do a yoga or dance video, but was feeling worn out from my previous exercising this week, so I just stretched and then got to work.
The plan is I get another two nights to self at the house, while T is visiting B, but at the moment that feels like just barely enough Time to Self.
Custom Chastity went totally dark -- now I can't access my account and asking for a reset password does nothing, LOL. I'll just have to trust them to do their jobs and send me the FMJ. I'll give it another week before I inquire again.
The White House announced they've obtained enough vaccine doses to jab every adult twice -- by the end of July. Let's give them a month's wiggle room and say the end of August. Hopefully it will go faster. We're still stuck at a 75+ age cutoff here in suburban Maryland. I've seen quite a few young fellas on Twitter who work in health care brag about getting their shots, though. And shots are going to the military, to prisoners, to teachers, to police. But what about the 65+ Seniors who are at most risk?? Hang in there people, six months from now everybody who wants a shot will have received a shot. If it were up to me, I'd just go by birthdate to cover the oldest people first. Age is the biggest risk factor for COVID!
T is getting an emergency root canal this afternoon, poor guy. Between Dax's health care needs and T's dentistry, we've got some unusual expenses. Things may be tight for the next couple of months. But what would I spend money on anyway?
Figure that sometime this summer I'll have the vaccine and will move forward into the new normal. Until then, my repetitious life continues ... unless case counts come down far enough that I'll risk adding one fuckbuddy to my bubble.
T seems OK, he granted me another night at the condo, yay! Because one night was definitely not enough. It was fun, so fun, I want more fun, this pendulum swinging back and forth, [work & chores & exercise Bug <--> Time to Self Bug]
Yay!
With my keys frozen in the freezer LOL. I've probably never paid so much attention to the properties of solid water before.
Yay!
With my keys frozen in the freezer LOL. I've probably never paid so much attention to the properties of solid water before.
I had to work until 4pm -- drove here during my lunch hour -- but now I'm chillin' intoxicatin' playin' (with toys) watchin' (porn) etc. :-)
I did manage to lift weights this morning, so that was five days in a row of completely awesome cross training -- yoga, dance, run, hike, lift. I still feel fat ;-) But I still fit into my pants, so I don't know where that perception is coming from. Ancient insecurities. Wanting to be an underwear model. At age 53 ;-)
I want to remove my cage and play with my cock! But the keys are frozen inside a block of ice. I brought the frozen container with me, put it in the freezer here at the condo, because I'm a little concerned about my cock skin chafing inside this Leopard, and that I might be stuck here by the snow for an extra day, maybe. The ice didn't thaw at all during the drive, that container is a good insulator, which is why it took so long to freeze back on Saturday. I've only been Freezer Boy for six days.
I think my cock skin is probably fine, although I cannot see it, but I wanted the frozen keys nearby just in case.
I've received no word from Custom Chastity about the FMJ I ordered! Last time it took them four days to acknowledge my order. This time it has been five days with no word. If they just never make it for me I can dispute the charge of course ... I know they're a small operation and that they batch their orders when they have time, but my other two orders moved faster than this ... I'll probably bug them about it tomorrow. What's my plan B? Keep wearing the Leopard even though I think it is ugly, LOL. Not only is my cock locked, its cage is ugly! Once upon a time I preferred this cage to the Ghost, because it keeps my cock well hidden but also well ventilated. But it's ugly!
And why ever did I stop wearing my custom metal cage during Quarantine, that's my favorite!! And I won't be able to wear it when my office reopens, not until I retire. Well, I wanted to hide my cock, so I couldn't see it, couldn't slip my fingers between the metal bars. The FMJ would hide it even better, but ... I have to let go of the timeline. I'll bug them tomorrow. If they never make it, they never make it, and I stick with this Leopard. They'll probably make it. Sigh. Patience, Bug, this is a custom job by a part-time business.
19 days since my last orgasm. Supposedly I'm waiting until After the Vaccine and then I'm making out with some fella and he gives me permission to uncage and cum, if he'll even let me -- Please, Sir X? Back before Quarantine most of them wouldn't let me uncage and cum. Once they realized I was serious about giving them this power over me, they usually said, "No." Only a minority of guys were so into seeing fellas cum that they'd unlock me. But this morning I looked at the Oracle of the Cum Deck again, and wondered whether to put her in charge again. Even though I dumped her rather suddenly on that day when T blew up at me and I felt like FUCK EVERYTHING. The block of ice is supposed to give me pause next time. Let me get over my mood while the ice is thawing.
It's probably a better solution than throwing away the keys, because cutting open a plastic cage is way quicker and easier than waiting for ice to thaw. Though, I could boil the block of ice to speed things up ... would still take longer than cutting open a cage, heh.
My present self cannot bind my future self. My future self might decide FUCK EVERYTHING again and just have an orgasm. But at least I did set up a monetary penalty system for 2021. I'm allowed to have a prostate orgasm, if I can even do that to myself, for free, because I've never had a solo prostate orgasm. A nipple-only orgasm would cost 1d6 x $25. Any other kind of orgasm while caged would cost 1d6 x $50 (wet dreams are free, however, I so rarely have those anyway). Thawing out the keys and unlocking my cage to cum directly would cost 1d6 x $150. Keep me honest, friends. If I break down and have an orgasm Before the Vaccine, I've gotta give some cash to charity. My budget can handle giving up to $900 to the local food bank.
That's probably better than going back to the Oracle of the Cum Deck. The answer, Bug, is NO, you may not cum. If you persist anyway, there's a toll charge. And everybody knows it.
I did manage to lift weights this morning, so that was five days in a row of completely awesome cross training -- yoga, dance, run, hike, lift. I still feel fat ;-) But I still fit into my pants, so I don't know where that perception is coming from. Ancient insecurities. Wanting to be an underwear model. At age 53 ;-)
I want to remove my cage and play with my cock! But the keys are frozen inside a block of ice. I brought the frozen container with me, put it in the freezer here at the condo, because I'm a little concerned about my cock skin chafing inside this Leopard, and that I might be stuck here by the snow for an extra day, maybe. The ice didn't thaw at all during the drive, that container is a good insulator, which is why it took so long to freeze back on Saturday. I've only been Freezer Boy for six days.
I think my cock skin is probably fine, although I cannot see it, but I wanted the frozen keys nearby just in case.
I've received no word from Custom Chastity about the FMJ I ordered! Last time it took them four days to acknowledge my order. This time it has been five days with no word. If they just never make it for me I can dispute the charge of course ... I know they're a small operation and that they batch their orders when they have time, but my other two orders moved faster than this ... I'll probably bug them about it tomorrow. What's my plan B? Keep wearing the Leopard even though I think it is ugly, LOL. Not only is my cock locked, its cage is ugly! Once upon a time I preferred this cage to the Ghost, because it keeps my cock well hidden but also well ventilated. But it's ugly!
And why ever did I stop wearing my custom metal cage during Quarantine, that's my favorite!! And I won't be able to wear it when my office reopens, not until I retire. Well, I wanted to hide my cock, so I couldn't see it, couldn't slip my fingers between the metal bars. The FMJ would hide it even better, but ... I have to let go of the timeline. I'll bug them tomorrow. If they never make it, they never make it, and I stick with this Leopard. They'll probably make it. Sigh. Patience, Bug, this is a custom job by a part-time business.
19 days since my last orgasm. Supposedly I'm waiting until After the Vaccine and then I'm making out with some fella and he gives me permission to uncage and cum, if he'll even let me -- Please, Sir X? Back before Quarantine most of them wouldn't let me uncage and cum. Once they realized I was serious about giving them this power over me, they usually said, "No." Only a minority of guys were so into seeing fellas cum that they'd unlock me. But this morning I looked at the Oracle of the Cum Deck again, and wondered whether to put her in charge again. Even though I dumped her rather suddenly on that day when T blew up at me and I felt like FUCK EVERYTHING. The block of ice is supposed to give me pause next time. Let me get over my mood while the ice is thawing.
It's probably a better solution than throwing away the keys, because cutting open a plastic cage is way quicker and easier than waiting for ice to thaw. Though, I could boil the block of ice to speed things up ... would still take longer than cutting open a cage, heh.
My present self cannot bind my future self. My future self might decide FUCK EVERYTHING again and just have an orgasm. But at least I did set up a monetary penalty system for 2021. I'm allowed to have a prostate orgasm, if I can even do that to myself, for free, because I've never had a solo prostate orgasm. A nipple-only orgasm would cost 1d6 x $25. Any other kind of orgasm while caged would cost 1d6 x $50 (wet dreams are free, however, I so rarely have those anyway). Thawing out the keys and unlocking my cage to cum directly would cost 1d6 x $150. Keep me honest, friends. If I break down and have an orgasm Before the Vaccine, I've gotta give some cash to charity. My budget can handle giving up to $900 to the local food bank.
That's probably better than going back to the Oracle of the Cum Deck. The answer, Bug, is NO, you may not cum. If you persist anyway, there's a toll charge. And everybody knows it.
Black Box Protocols
15 January 2021 16:53Here we go, I'm going to throw away the keys to my Black Box. I will only be able to escape by destroying the device. It's OK, I can buy a new one for $20, it's a mass production item.
First, tomorrow I'm going to unlock and trim my pubes, as I won't be able to trim them as effectively again until I destroy the Black Box.
Second, tomorrow while unlocked I'm going to sand down one of the edges of the Black Box, it's not quite a sharp edge but I want to make it a little blunter where the tube opening meets my pelvic skin, it's causing a red mark. It's intended to be an "anti-escape" feature but it's causing a red mark.
Third, I might want to play with my electricity toys before locking back up. Might, we'll see. I'm not going to have an orgasm while unlocked either way.
Then, I will lock back up and throw away the keys. I'll have to head outside and toss them into the alley dumpster, LOL.
-----
As it is possible to have an orgasm while locked, if I do have an orgasm while locked without the permission of an in-person Sir, I will donate 1d6 x $50 to charity (up to $300). Someday when I cut open the device to get free, I will donate 1d6 x $150 to charity (up to $900). I will roll the dice after the triggering event, so that I won't know the exact penalty until afterward.
If I cum from nipple play or ass play without touching my cock ... should that be allowed or penalized? I've never cum from ass play, so that's a freebie, that's a goal. If I cum from nipple play without permission that's still 1d6 x $25 to charity (up to $150) -- half price, LOL, because I have to be pretty darn horny to cum from nipple play and having an orgasm that way doesn't give me any relief from feeling horny afterward.
It's got to be additional money to charity, not part of the money I'm already giving each month.
If there's some health-related or other nonsexual reason I have to remove the cage, too bad, I still have to pay. There's no free escape. The only free orgasm is if I have an ass play orgasm, something I've never had. If I can train myself to cum from getting fucked, then my transformation into an ass play chastity sub is complete, heh.
Tomorrow! Meanwhile, tonight I'm locked and playing with toys at the condo :-)
First, tomorrow I'm going to unlock and trim my pubes, as I won't be able to trim them as effectively again until I destroy the Black Box.
Second, tomorrow while unlocked I'm going to sand down one of the edges of the Black Box, it's not quite a sharp edge but I want to make it a little blunter where the tube opening meets my pelvic skin, it's causing a red mark. It's intended to be an "anti-escape" feature but it's causing a red mark.
Third, I might want to play with my electricity toys before locking back up. Might, we'll see. I'm not going to have an orgasm while unlocked either way.
Then, I will lock back up and throw away the keys. I'll have to head outside and toss them into the alley dumpster, LOL.
-----
As it is possible to have an orgasm while locked, if I do have an orgasm while locked without the permission of an in-person Sir, I will donate 1d6 x $50 to charity (up to $300). Someday when I cut open the device to get free, I will donate 1d6 x $150 to charity (up to $900). I will roll the dice after the triggering event, so that I won't know the exact penalty until afterward.
If I cum from nipple play or ass play without touching my cock ... should that be allowed or penalized? I've never cum from ass play, so that's a freebie, that's a goal. If I cum from nipple play without permission that's still 1d6 x $25 to charity (up to $150) -- half price, LOL, because I have to be pretty darn horny to cum from nipple play and having an orgasm that way doesn't give me any relief from feeling horny afterward.
It's got to be additional money to charity, not part of the money I'm already giving each month.
If there's some health-related or other nonsexual reason I have to remove the cage, too bad, I still have to pay. There's no free escape. The only free orgasm is if I have an ass play orgasm, something I've never had. If I can train myself to cum from getting fucked, then my transformation into an ass play chastity sub is complete, heh.
Tomorrow! Meanwhile, tonight I'm locked and playing with toys at the condo :-)
Maids Monday
11 January 2021 08:51Sunday morning I felt a moderate amount of transition stress -- I didn't know when T would return from B's or what mood he'd be in, and I had intended to accomplish certain chores before he came back, but on Saturday I fell into sloth instead.
So, I got stuff done before he got home. When he got home he was in a good mood after a date weekend, so I was able to spend a few hours playing games with Steve & Friends online. Then T helped me to finish putting away the Christmas Tree -- I believe the cause of my back pain had been my attempt to retrieve the tree all by myself, so I wanted T's help putting it away. So far my back seems OK this morning.
This morning was a moderate amount of Maids Prep stress. Our first attempt at corralling the cats failed, and I hadn't finished putting away all my toys, so I felt more rushed than usual, but we were still successful and I was out the door by the 8am curfew.
Now at the condo, and I'm feeling some work stress, so I need to pile into working until I get to the other side. I'd like to do stretching and yoga here this morning before lunch.
After that water damage incident, I always feel the need to do a quick inspection upon arriving at the condo to make sure everything is working and nothing is leaking. I've become a bit, just a bit, messier about the condo because I know nobody else is coming here for a while.
And now with B back in the picture, I may get more Time to Self at the house, with less need for Time to Self at the condo. We'll see, that's not within my control and the timing is unpredictable. The weather this week looks conducive to running outside, I will hope to do that on Tuesday and Thursday. If I do yoga today, then weight lifting on Wednesday. Maybe some hiking with the dog if I get some 90-minute breaks from work.
The upcoming weekend is a 3-day weekend with MLK. Next week we have Inauguration Day, which is a day off for DC feds, at least those of us not involved in security for the event. It sounds like we may have more pro-Trump demonstrations coming ... so people in DC are a little nervous.
I had orgasms yesterday, so haven't put myself under another rule set yet; I think I need more time outside before I dive back in.
So, I got stuff done before he got home. When he got home he was in a good mood after a date weekend, so I was able to spend a few hours playing games with Steve & Friends online. Then T helped me to finish putting away the Christmas Tree -- I believe the cause of my back pain had been my attempt to retrieve the tree all by myself, so I wanted T's help putting it away. So far my back seems OK this morning.
This morning was a moderate amount of Maids Prep stress. Our first attempt at corralling the cats failed, and I hadn't finished putting away all my toys, so I felt more rushed than usual, but we were still successful and I was out the door by the 8am curfew.
Now at the condo, and I'm feeling some work stress, so I need to pile into working until I get to the other side. I'd like to do stretching and yoga here this morning before lunch.
After that water damage incident, I always feel the need to do a quick inspection upon arriving at the condo to make sure everything is working and nothing is leaking. I've become a bit, just a bit, messier about the condo because I know nobody else is coming here for a while.
And now with B back in the picture, I may get more Time to Self at the house, with less need for Time to Self at the condo. We'll see, that's not within my control and the timing is unpredictable. The weather this week looks conducive to running outside, I will hope to do that on Tuesday and Thursday. If I do yoga today, then weight lifting on Wednesday. Maybe some hiking with the dog if I get some 90-minute breaks from work.
The upcoming weekend is a 3-day weekend with MLK. Next week we have Inauguration Day, which is a day off for DC feds, at least those of us not involved in security for the event. It sounds like we may have more pro-Trump demonstrations coming ... so people in DC are a little nervous.
I had orgasms yesterday, so haven't put myself under another rule set yet; I think I need more time outside before I dive back in.
Watching my favorite married-gay-porn-stars couple fully clothed on live cam playing with their new puppy is the best thing I've seen in years.
The pets here at the house are definitely an anchor for me. And I'm not sure I could do without any pets if I lived by myself again.
I didn't think pets were allowed at the condo, but as I approached the back door last time I saw a dog, definitely a dog, sitting in the window of one of the units, looking out at me. Are you allowed to be there, I thought, heh. If so, I want one too.
The pets here at the house are definitely an anchor for me. And I'm not sure I could do without any pets if I lived by myself again.
I didn't think pets were allowed at the condo, but as I approached the back door last time I saw a dog, definitely a dog, sitting in the window of one of the units, looking out at me. Are you allowed to be there, I thought, heh. If so, I want one too.
