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m_d_hI split my day between work emails, work calls, and chores around the house, as I often do, but today I did so with intensity. My laundry had backed up while Dax was sick, so had the dishes, and I threw on top the task of cleaning Dax's things -- his two remaining beds are now refurbished as cat beds with freshly laundered liners and blankets. I've removed the doggie "hammock" from the back seat of my car. I also had a lot of work calls. Meanwhile T was playing a video game -- it's his day off -- and getting his M2 shot -- so we weren't interacting as much as we had over the previous three days.
Oh, I also ran 3 miles.
So far no panic attack today. If I don't get one tonight I'll clear T to go to B's tomorrow, but he will need to see how bad his M2 side effects are.
Regardless of what T does tomorrow, I might go to the condo for the night and then work from the condo on Wednesday morning. We'll see. May take Friday off for a three-day weekend to myself.
I'm starting to think having the weekend to myself at the house would be a good thing. I could finally dump and refill the hot tub water, that task is way overdue. But I could also spend one of those weekend nights at the condo -- again -- I no longer have to be at the house when T is away (ditto for him when I'm away). One night with the cats dumping & refilling the tub, listening to the loud & excellent stereo; one night by myself at the condo with the better setup for playing with toys while watching multiple screens of porn. My last weekend to self before my personal Quarantine begins to open up.
The past few days, T and I have been getting along very well, supporting each other as best as we can while feeling and expressing our own grief. And we both appreciate all the ways our families and friends have sent us their sympathies. It feels impossible that I would adjust to Dax being gone, but I know it is something we all have to do, several times in our lives, as our loved ones pass away, move away, break up with us, or change into different people. Life is not built to remain static forever. And someday I'll be the one who passes away.
Oh, I also ran 3 miles.
So far no panic attack today. If I don't get one tonight I'll clear T to go to B's tomorrow, but he will need to see how bad his M2 side effects are.
Regardless of what T does tomorrow, I might go to the condo for the night and then work from the condo on Wednesday morning. We'll see. May take Friday off for a three-day weekend to myself.
I'm starting to think having the weekend to myself at the house would be a good thing. I could finally dump and refill the hot tub water, that task is way overdue. But I could also spend one of those weekend nights at the condo -- again -- I no longer have to be at the house when T is away (ditto for him when I'm away). One night with the cats dumping & refilling the tub, listening to the loud & excellent stereo; one night by myself at the condo with the better setup for playing with toys while watching multiple screens of porn. My last weekend to self before my personal Quarantine begins to open up.
The past few days, T and I have been getting along very well, supporting each other as best as we can while feeling and expressing our own grief. And we both appreciate all the ways our families and friends have sent us their sympathies. It feels impossible that I would adjust to Dax being gone, but I know it is something we all have to do, several times in our lives, as our loved ones pass away, move away, break up with us, or change into different people. Life is not built to remain static forever. And someday I'll be the one who passes away.