OK

[m_d_h]

 OK, you get to express your traumas to me, and I hear them, and I see them, and I feel them,

but I don't have lots of traumas, in my, self-description,

my self-description avoided digging lasting trenches for my trauma,

I avoided remembering exact dates to dodge anniversary effects,

I threw away choice paper memories, knowing, these would be deleted forever,

as, for my mother, I deleted her journals before my father could find them, after she died, after he went to sleep, I

I dug into my mother's filing cabinets, I knew she had journals,

I knew they were somewhere,

I found them, I read them, and then I made them disappear forever,

so my father would not find them,

But I read everything my mother wrote in her journals.

Everything.

After she died.  And then I destroyed them.