![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
m_d_hT cooked dinner, and it was great!
So, after Blue Apron kept forgetting to send us all the ingredients, week after week, we finally killed them and switched to ... Martha Stewart. This was T's idea. Now we're getting 3x2 meals each week from Martha Stewart instead of Blue Apron.
I usually cook dinner. And I'm OCD, and I've been cooking The Blue Apron Way for Years! Oh now, Martha Stewart ... is ... different ...
In a lot of ways! I asked T to join me in the kitchen for moral support as I cooked my first Martha Stewart meal, and I did end up needing his help. But the food was great.
Tonight T took a turn, and the food was also great. Martha Stewart meals are more difficult to cook, but they taste better. I feel like we just upgraded our lives. I feel like I wouldn't be able to cook these meals if I had to commute for 150 minutes per day.
-----
We split a bottle of red wine with dinner. After I did the dishes, I went out to the hot tub while T played video games. Just like old times, LOL, I really haven't spent much time in the hot tub over the past few months. Summer sucked. But this was relaxing :-)
-----
Probably coming up on my last night with K before he moves away. If I were a tyrannical Goddess, I wouldn't let him go. But instead I'm a relationship anarchist. Should I have worked harder in the past to "make him mine"? Not my style. Not with T either. Not with others before them. I commit to my partners, but I also let them go.
As cause and effect must work in both directions along the time axis, I believe my future self is causing me to play this meditation game to deal with the grief of K moving away. Didn't I start playing it before K told me the news?
My future self is reprogramming my life. It has to. My past self could not have accepted this outcome. There were a lot of outcomes my past self could not accept.
The result of all this not accepting ... sprang back through time to reprogram the past. Yes, it's a paradox. The present moment is always the result of tensions between a range of possible pasts, and a range of possible futures. These are the tensions that could fuel a stochastic spacetime bomb ;-)
-----
Cause and effect is time travel. It's how time travel works. And it works in both directions. But it isn't like a wormhole -- wormholes are the dreams of those who wish to evade cause and effect. You act now, and it has an effect in the future, along every moment between --> that's time travel. You act in the future, and it has an effect now, along every moment in between --> that's time travel. Whenever you act it has effects on both the future and the past, but only along every moment in between. This is difficult to trace, due to quantum mechanics, the uncertainty principle ... the Goddess rolling dice in contravention of Einstein's wishes ... we barely understand that cause and effect works from past to present, and from present to future. It is much more difficult to trace the other direction, that cause and effect works from present to past, and from future to present.
But it's just math. If you create an equation for cause and effect moving forward in time, the same equation works backward in time.
When Dōgen said 800 years ago to observe cause and effect, I don't know whether he meant that it works both forward and backward through time. But maybe he did. In which case, I caused Dōgen, and Dōgen caused me. I'm telling Dōgen right now to write his lectures so I can read them 800 years later.
-----
It's not that we each get to create our own pasts and our own futures. It's that the present moment in which we act is determined by both our pasts and our futures, and the present moment in which we act determines both our pasts and our futures. It's way too complicated to control. Also way too complicated to perceive. It's the math. If the present state can predict the future, then the future state can predict the present. That's the import of the equals sign. It works in both directions. A = B, but B = A.
In Ontario, they teach the equals sign in first grade. I think it would be a helluva lot more interesting to all of us, if they taught us that the equals sign is what enables time travel.
So, after Blue Apron kept forgetting to send us all the ingredients, week after week, we finally killed them and switched to ... Martha Stewart. This was T's idea. Now we're getting 3x2 meals each week from Martha Stewart instead of Blue Apron.
I usually cook dinner. And I'm OCD, and I've been cooking The Blue Apron Way for Years! Oh now, Martha Stewart ... is ... different ...
In a lot of ways! I asked T to join me in the kitchen for moral support as I cooked my first Martha Stewart meal, and I did end up needing his help. But the food was great.
Tonight T took a turn, and the food was also great. Martha Stewart meals are more difficult to cook, but they taste better. I feel like we just upgraded our lives. I feel like I wouldn't be able to cook these meals if I had to commute for 150 minutes per day.
-----
We split a bottle of red wine with dinner. After I did the dishes, I went out to the hot tub while T played video games. Just like old times, LOL, I really haven't spent much time in the hot tub over the past few months. Summer sucked. But this was relaxing :-)
-----
Probably coming up on my last night with K before he moves away. If I were a tyrannical Goddess, I wouldn't let him go. But instead I'm a relationship anarchist. Should I have worked harder in the past to "make him mine"? Not my style. Not with T either. Not with others before them. I commit to my partners, but I also let them go.
As cause and effect must work in both directions along the time axis, I believe my future self is causing me to play this meditation game to deal with the grief of K moving away. Didn't I start playing it before K told me the news?
My future self is reprogramming my life. It has to. My past self could not have accepted this outcome. There were a lot of outcomes my past self could not accept.
The result of all this not accepting ... sprang back through time to reprogram the past. Yes, it's a paradox. The present moment is always the result of tensions between a range of possible pasts, and a range of possible futures. These are the tensions that could fuel a stochastic spacetime bomb ;-)
-----
Cause and effect is time travel. It's how time travel works. And it works in both directions. But it isn't like a wormhole -- wormholes are the dreams of those who wish to evade cause and effect. You act now, and it has an effect in the future, along every moment between --> that's time travel. You act in the future, and it has an effect now, along every moment in between --> that's time travel. Whenever you act it has effects on both the future and the past, but only along every moment in between. This is difficult to trace, due to quantum mechanics, the uncertainty principle ... the Goddess rolling dice in contravention of Einstein's wishes ... we barely understand that cause and effect works from past to present, and from present to future. It is much more difficult to trace the other direction, that cause and effect works from present to past, and from future to present.
But it's just math. If you create an equation for cause and effect moving forward in time, the same equation works backward in time.
When Dōgen said 800 years ago to observe cause and effect, I don't know whether he meant that it works both forward and backward through time. But maybe he did. In which case, I caused Dōgen, and Dōgen caused me. I'm telling Dōgen right now to write his lectures so I can read them 800 years later.
-----
It's not that we each get to create our own pasts and our own futures. It's that the present moment in which we act is determined by both our pasts and our futures, and the present moment in which we act determines both our pasts and our futures. It's way too complicated to control. Also way too complicated to perceive. It's the math. If the present state can predict the future, then the future state can predict the present. That's the import of the equals sign. It works in both directions. A = B, but B = A.
In Ontario, they teach the equals sign in first grade. I think it would be a helluva lot more interesting to all of us, if they taught us that the equals sign is what enables time travel.