cat zen

The past three afternoons, a cat has climbed into my lap while I've meditated in the Media Cave.

And not the same cat each time!

Cats are great at meditation :-)

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I've got the idea for my first song of this music creation cycle.  Some vocals, simple lyrics, so I'll need to record my voice.  I wrote down the basics of the lyrics in a note on my phone, and I'm imagining how the music will sound.  This first song could become the intro for a concept album with seven songs.

Toying with a name for this album, and a pseudonym for the artist.  Last time (in 2012) my, EP let's call it, was titled "reckless, despairing carols" -- a phrase I stole from Walt Whitman -- and I didn't bother with an artist pseudonym.  Three short proof-of-concept original songs, plus a screeching remix of NIN's "My Violent Heart" of which I'm eternally proud.  One song used my voice speaking lyrics lifted from a poem, I didn't write them myself.  It was a short-lived project, but I always felt it demonstrated my potential if I threw myself into creating music.

As with my journal, as with the stories I've written over the decades, this is not a commercial project, but perhaps I'll share the results along the way.  So long as I have a job or a pension I wouldn't charge for my writing or my music or anything else I create, except perhaps a nominal offset for the costs of reproduction or shipping, if I created a hard copy of something.

This will be fun!  If I can maintain the time investment and momentum.  But when else, before retirement, would be a good time for doing this?  Quarantine with one person for months.

thousands more dead in the US

About 5,000 deaths from COVID-19 have been reported in the US since Trump announced he tested positive last Friday morning.

About 13,000 deaths from COVID-19 have been reported in the US since Trump told one of his campaign rallies the week before that, "It affects virtually nobody."

Right now it's killing about 5,000 people per week in the US.  Week after week after week.  Virtually nobody.

Right now, COVID-19 is the third-leading cause of death in the US.




If the COVID-19 death rate returned to its April peak of 2,000 people per day, COVID-19 would become the leading cause of death in the US, the #1 killer.  During the month of April, that's what COVID-19 was, the #1 killer in the US, that's why governors and mayors shut us down, that's why most of us decided to take precautions like social distancing, wearing masks, and avoiding crowded indoor events.  This virus would be our leading cause of death if we weren't trying to avoid it.

And even now, as so many of us are trying to avoid it, COVID-19 is killing more people than all types of accidents combined, more people than stroke and dementia combined.  Imagine if Trump had told his campaign rally that 9/11 affected virtually nobody.  Or that Alzheimer's disease affected virtually nobody.  On that date, COVID-19 had killed 200,000 people in the US.  Virtually nobody.  Yet 42% say they would vote to re-elect this guy.  One person said it's because her 401(k) has gone up so much under Trump.  Yeah, it turns out letting people die is great for capitalism.

72 hours to self at condo ...

I don't think I've had 72 hours to self since before Quarantine, I don't think so, I've always felt the need to share condo time with K, and to respect T's need for companionship during Quarantine ... and even then ... before Quarantine T hadn't traveled anywhere in a while, and when he did travel I'd have people over to the house every few days ... was it Moogfest 2019?  I think that was a three-night stay for me in Durham.  Yes, my calendar confirms, that was a three-night stay, all by myself!  18 months ago.  I tried to hookup with some local fellas, though, LOL.  And that was during the short period when Sir Brandon was my surprise keyholder, before he realized he was too busy to devote a proper amount of time to the job, so we were in touch.  And I was at a multi-day multi-venue concert event!  I didn't just stay indoors with myself, even if I was there on my own.  I danced with a guy, I remember, just barely touching him ... just barely ... I'm pretty sure he was even more high than I was ;-)

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I talked for years about taking a long weekend by myself to the mountains, and never got around to it.  This is the next best thing, I guess.  A long weekend at the condo during Quarantine.  Sort of like being in the mountains, because no socializing.

I still need to meditate today, I'll do that after posting this entry.

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Today begins the process of Bug trying to make the condo feel like my own place, although without unduly disturbing K's stuff.  He left the place fully furnished and fully functional, as he plans to return from time to time.  We've got Internet, dishes, towels, toiletries, etc.  Some of his excellent & expensive decorations remain, and I won't touch any of those.  He left a bunch of his clothes, so I'll never have to go outside naked or cold LOL, although he's generally a size smaller than I am.  He did swap the bed frame and the dinette table for pieces from his apartment, but that's OK, the replacements still match.  The bed sleeps two, there's a love seat, and two chairs for the dinette table.  I can have a guest over as soon as I feel it is safe to do so.

Oh, and a helluva lot of sex toys, not just butt stuff either :o)

Making the place feel like my own mainly means -- if there's stuff sitting out that I'm not using, I'll put it away, and I'll try to rationalize the electronics a bit.  With the HomePods we're pretty much stuck in the Apple Streaming Universe for Music and TV, but that's OK.  I'm a little irked that I cannot connect directly to the HomePods from my laptops unless I upgrade the Apple TV to 4th generation for $149.  There's no other reason to upgrade that component, and there's no other way to accomplish the goal of simply streaming directly to the HomePods from my laptops unless I route stuff through the Music or TV apps, or my iPhones/iPads.  So, for example, I cannot stream to the HomePods from GarageBand or another DAW on my laptop, or from any browser anywhere.  Unless I upgrade the Apple TV, LOL.

A higher priority is funding my little music creation hobby, for now.  And figuring out how much stuff to duplicate at both condo and house.  Do I want a keyboard in both places?  A high-quality mic at both?

But while I'm here I'm going to see what else is hiding under the electronics cupboard -- there's so many cables, and an old BluRay player, and an ancient XBOX 360 that hasn't even been turned on in years.  Neither of these items can use the HomePods, but they can use the built-in speakers in the two TVs.  Yes, two TVs, one a 65-inch plasma HDTV, another a 27-inch Apple LED Cinema Display.  Along the way, are there things plugged in that don't need to be?  And can I install a kill switch to turn everything off when I'm not here?

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The music I'm planning to create is running far ahead inside my head -- I need time to learn how to make it happen on a DAW.  It's like learning a new language.  I can speak music inside my head, but I have to learn a DAW's language to record the music.  This could take a while.  But I've got 72 hours now, and a week later this month, and the rest of Quarantine.

more comment (re: creating music)

You remind me of what I loved most about my GarageBand projects of 8 years ago -- they made me appreciate the music I listen to, from knowing what sort of labor goes into the production.  Not taking music for granted.

 

Also, from recording lyrics, knowing how you have to throw your own emotions into the mix to make the music work, it's not only an intellectual labor, but also an emotional labor.

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It's what made me love Home Video so much, retconning my relationship with K, retconning when we2 saw them in concert (at a venue that is now closing permanently because of the Pandemic), if only I had loved them then as much as I love them now.

It's part of how K has always planted seeds in our relationship that don't pay off for years ... and now that I realize time works in both directions, I needed him to plant those seeds so I could be who I am today.  My actions today made him plant those seeds then.

Tomorrow-Bug is always talking with Yesterday-K ...

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BTW, this new music project is going to be called "nota bene" by "nine-dash line".  Not sure of the capitalizations yet, or the representations.  We can save the "album" artwork for later, LOL.

it still happens

that within 24 hours both T and K will recommend the same album to me

I think they would both like each other more now than they did then

not necessarily "boyfriend" like, but, like

it's happening again

just thinking about having my own music project is making listening to music a Goddess-damned olive oil bath

more comment (re: art critics)

What you remind me of is -- as a critic, I judge you by what you intended to achieve.  Not whether I "liked" it or not.  You set out to create a project -- did it work as you intended?  Was your work brilliant as you meant it.

Charisma: 18

role-playing a bit on the XBOX over the past couple months reminded me of how I like to lean on my charisma score in real life