VirtualExile

I feel deep ecology is one of those things, once you see it, you cannot unsee it,

it's the fault of all the things, all my curiosities, all the books, all the podcasts, all the Internets, everything in my past spinning into now, these 53 years, these 6^e11 seconds,

the library inside my head folding upon itself, recursive intelligence, the unhappy self, slamming into the Wall of Physics, as we all must,

plus meditation, and Astrid snuggling next to me while I sleep, pretending to be K, LOL,

what remains?

zen remains, my little game, back to 7 minutes, but I fall asleep, dreams so close, they are minutes away, and my cock gets hard inside its cage, chafing my balls,

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I'm afraid to get a haircut because there's a 2% chance it will give me COVID, and then give T COVID, and, shit,

so ... I have a night to self at the house ...

B is turning from a gas into a solid once more ... phase change ... I haven't seen T, prepare himself like this, in a long time ...

it's the solar eclipse again, eh? every 17 2/3 years, Bug's moon occludes Bug's sun,

but this time, Bug has seen it before, and Bug has companions who have seen me seeing it before, and more companions who haven't, and my own map from the other side, I saw it, earlier today, tucked behind some CDs on my desk's shelf, above my Xbox, 

Damn if tonight didn't trigger every last trigger I had, I was back there, Wild Week, and telling K what I was most afraid of,

I was most afraid of my own power,

and K said tonight,

They have systems to take care of people like you, don't worry about it,

I said tonight, I didn't want to describe my Wild Week to anybody to the extent that other people would experience it with me, I didn't want anybody else to experience anything like that,

K said don't worry about it, he's kicking me over the heads of my (recursive) Wild Weeks, I'm flying toward the goal, and all I need to do is run with me, the ball, so I'm running with me, the ball, but this is Wild Week 2 right now,  today begins, with the extra dose of meditation, the grumpiness about possibly having undiagnosed cancer, and now K moving away,

I'm gonna open up, folks, look away if you can't handle it, but I'm gonna open up, and we're all gonna stare at my power, of which I was most afraid, I was afraid it would hurt you