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money stuff
21 October 2020 20:39T endorsed my proposal. He will make nominal monthly contributions toward the basement repair project until some point after it is finished, when we will apply to refinance our mortgage at a lower interest rate, without the federal insurance fee, and we will add a HELOC. Then we will use the HELOC to reimburse me for the basement repair project, and then my cash balance will return to where it was. We will share the cost of the HELOC payments the same way we share the cost of the mortgage payments.
This is no help to my sister, as it will take a couple months for all this to happen, and meanwhile I'm out $16K and feeling temporarily cash poor.
I will call her over the weekend to get more details from her -- the initial beg came over text message with two solid reasons but no other details. Perhaps after we talk I'll hear a smaller amount than $5K that would be helpful, that I can still commit to. I would not feel OK forking over $5K now. Horrible timing, because for the past several months I've been in quite a generous mood, but this basement project drained me, and another $5K would have me crossing one of my red lines.
I do not want to borrow money to give to my sister right now, that would violate my conservative money sensibilities. Horrible timing, if she'd asked a week earlier, she'd probably have it.
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Ugh. Lately family have been asking stuff of me that I'm not comfortable giving, like going to graduation or Thanksgiving gatherings with multiple households, or coughing up lots of cash, whereas I'm not asking stuff of anybody. Well, a phone call from K now that he's moved away, but it sounded like he enjoyed speaking with me also.
When does Bug get to ask for something?
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B gave T a gift -- a rather expensive telescope. This evening T showed me a close-up of the Moon, and Saturn big enough that I could see her rings. I'd never seen Saturn's rings with my own eyes before :-) He's taking his new toy with him to the beach so he can look at stuff from a less light-polluted vantage point.
I'm usually the one handing out expensive gifts. Again, when does Bug get to ask for something?
I created this Green Communism ideology for myself, which involves ultimately giving away -- as the next 30 years pass -- over 90% of my current standard of living. When does Bug get to ask for something? If I needed cash for an emergency, who could I ask? Who would buy me a new laptop? Who would take me on a trip?
Eh ... I don't need anything. But I'm suddenly feeling this backlash against all my perfectionisms. And feeling a bit taken for granted, and even abandoned at times. Who would take care of Bug?
Empathy fatigue <----
This is no help to my sister, as it will take a couple months for all this to happen, and meanwhile I'm out $16K and feeling temporarily cash poor.
I will call her over the weekend to get more details from her -- the initial beg came over text message with two solid reasons but no other details. Perhaps after we talk I'll hear a smaller amount than $5K that would be helpful, that I can still commit to. I would not feel OK forking over $5K now. Horrible timing, because for the past several months I've been in quite a generous mood, but this basement project drained me, and another $5K would have me crossing one of my red lines.
I do not want to borrow money to give to my sister right now, that would violate my conservative money sensibilities. Horrible timing, if she'd asked a week earlier, she'd probably have it.
-----
Ugh. Lately family have been asking stuff of me that I'm not comfortable giving, like going to graduation or Thanksgiving gatherings with multiple households, or coughing up lots of cash, whereas I'm not asking stuff of anybody. Well, a phone call from K now that he's moved away, but it sounded like he enjoyed speaking with me also.
When does Bug get to ask for something?
-----
B gave T a gift -- a rather expensive telescope. This evening T showed me a close-up of the Moon, and Saturn big enough that I could see her rings. I'd never seen Saturn's rings with my own eyes before :-) He's taking his new toy with him to the beach so he can look at stuff from a less light-polluted vantage point.
I'm usually the one handing out expensive gifts. Again, when does Bug get to ask for something?
I created this Green Communism ideology for myself, which involves ultimately giving away -- as the next 30 years pass -- over 90% of my current standard of living. When does Bug get to ask for something? If I needed cash for an emergency, who could I ask? Who would buy me a new laptop? Who would take me on a trip?
Eh ... I don't need anything. But I'm suddenly feeling this backlash against all my perfectionisms. And feeling a bit taken for granted, and even abandoned at times. Who would take care of Bug?
Empathy fatigue <----
