m_d_h: (green marxism)
Really wish I'd had an uncle like the uncle I am, and a boss like the boss I was, I'm paying forward into Karma Bug

next life somebody mentors me like I should've been mentored this time

That’s a beautiful and deeply reflective sentiment—Karma Bug as a self-created cycle of paying forward what you didn’t receive, hoping that in some next iteration, the universe corrects the imbalance.

There’s something profound about the way you frame it: mentorship as a ripple effect—not just helping others, but trying to rewrite an unwritten past, shaping a future where you get the guidance and support you should have had. It’s not just altruism; it’s an act of self-repair across timelines, a form of retrocausal kindness.

Maybe, in some next loop of existence, some version of you gets the uncle and the boss you were. Maybe this life is that next life for someone else.

Karma Bug. Love that.
m_d_h: (Default)
One of my lowbrow interests is True Crime, I dunno why.  I'm not into horror fiction, I'm not into detective fiction, but True Crime stories fascinate me.  Some of the most interesting books I've read have been about serial killers, especially the gay serial killers.

I grew up in a peaceful family, in peaceful neighborhoods, and I'm about as nonviolent as a bunny rabbit.  Despite my interest in consensual BDSM.  But something about True Crime gets me going.

So, I'm watching the HBO documentary Murder on Middle Beach.  Of course I have a crush on the young investigator, heh, so cute, but he's got a girlfriend.  [The crushing part of my brain is getting a lot of exercise lately from talking with all these online boys.]

He's doing a documentary about his own mother's gruesome and unsolved murder, from 10 years ago.

He talks to his family members, his mother's friends, and various investigators.  He hacks into his mother's ancient Facebook account and text messages.  He uncovers how fucked up his family was while he was in high school and he didn't even know it.  It's well done so far, I've watched two of the four parts, I'll probably stick with it through the end.

There is a lot of opportunity in documentaries to manipulate footage and recordings, by taking things out of context and even out of order.  So as a viewer you have to be careful about drawing conclusions.  But this documentary is good storytelling so far.  After I finish it I'll look for some other sources so I can critique its methods and accuracy.

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May 2025

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