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who is even lonely
19 October 2024 21:28he’s a lonely boy, why are there lonely boys
I haven’t been lonely in like 27 years
I haven’t been lonely in like 27 years
Maids Monday again
8 March 2021 09:15This morning's Maids prep went about as well as it ever has, but traffic to the condo was heavy -- it seems more and more people are returning to in-person work formats as the Holiday Wave recedes and vaccinations ramp up.
Often I stretch and exercise when I get to the condo on a Maids Monday, before my work day gets started, and I have time for that this morning but I'm not feeling it. I could stretch now and maybe exercise later in the day, between 1 & 3pm, on a late lunch break.
Maybe it's because two weeks ago, on the last Maids Monday, that's when I ate the meal that gave me the food poisoning, or maybe I just need a break from trying to exercise on EVERY work day.
I'll probably run/lift/hike/run the next four days anway ... we'll see ... I'll probably exercise this afternoon anyway, after I relax this morning.
Dax is on a hunger strike this morning, possibly due to the antibiotic pills we're giving him for his liver. Sigh. On Sunday morning while I wasn't there, T tried to sweeten the deal by pouring bacon grease over Dax's bowl of food and pills, and now Dax is holding out for similar sweeteners. Sometimes with older pets trying to treat their chronic ailments starts to bring on more troubles. I like to treat Dax from time to time, but I'm not going to bargain with him. You don't want your breakfast, then you don't get breakfast.
I already know ahead of time that B is going to spend the night at the house this Friday. I'm thinking I might want to socialize with B & T if they're willing, and then head to the condo on Saturday for only one night. Two nights to myself week after week can feel like too much when the only human I'm seeing is T, I guess. I should also do more reaching out to the important people in my life, although part of my mood on Saturday was pouting that "they should reach out to me more". Yet, I choose my relationships for the level of independence they allow me, so I shouldn't play those kinds of mind games in which I fail to communicate my desire to communicate and then hold it against people for leaving me alone. It's that ancient tug of insecurity, of wanting to feel arbitrarily important and in control.
Often I stretch and exercise when I get to the condo on a Maids Monday, before my work day gets started, and I have time for that this morning but I'm not feeling it. I could stretch now and maybe exercise later in the day, between 1 & 3pm, on a late lunch break.
Maybe it's because two weeks ago, on the last Maids Monday, that's when I ate the meal that gave me the food poisoning, or maybe I just need a break from trying to exercise on EVERY work day.
I'll probably run/lift/hike/run the next four days anway ... we'll see ... I'll probably exercise this afternoon anyway, after I relax this morning.
Dax is on a hunger strike this morning, possibly due to the antibiotic pills we're giving him for his liver. Sigh. On Sunday morning while I wasn't there, T tried to sweeten the deal by pouring bacon grease over Dax's bowl of food and pills, and now Dax is holding out for similar sweeteners. Sometimes with older pets trying to treat their chronic ailments starts to bring on more troubles. I like to treat Dax from time to time, but I'm not going to bargain with him. You don't want your breakfast, then you don't get breakfast.
I already know ahead of time that B is going to spend the night at the house this Friday. I'm thinking I might want to socialize with B & T if they're willing, and then head to the condo on Saturday for only one night. Two nights to myself week after week can feel like too much when the only human I'm seeing is T, I guess. I should also do more reaching out to the important people in my life, although part of my mood on Saturday was pouting that "they should reach out to me more". Yet, I choose my relationships for the level of independence they allow me, so I shouldn't play those kinds of mind games in which I fail to communicate my desire to communicate and then hold it against people for leaving me alone. It's that ancient tug of insecurity, of wanting to feel arbitrarily important and in control.
Was officially feeling lonely and Quarantine-fatigued, 56 days of cock-locked horniness feeding a trenchant desire to snuggle with an adult fella, but I sat with my emotions and I'm feeling a bit better. I remembered how I wrote that post about how I (and others) should reach out when I'm feeling lonely, but did I do that? Nope. But, I'm feeling I can do this for three more months. Sigh. It's not forever, not the end of the world, but some days I feel it.
-----
Remembering how when I went to Durham for Moogfest all by myself for three nights, I still had the apps to entertain me by dangling the possibility of hooking up with the local guys. I remember being flaked on down there, heh, and the Duke student who wanted to literally kick my locked balls because of his intense Daddy issues ... I passed, that sounded uniquely dangerous, to have my locked balls vigorously smashed between boot soles and 3-D printed nylon.
I mean, a touch of ball torture can be fun, but I think this guy had deeper issues.
-----
Teen Wolf continues with the serious shortage of shirts for their hot male lead actors :-)
I had a large lunch, has taken a while to digest. I think in a bit I'll venture out for more alcohol and then I'll have another toy evening. It felt great last night to have a healthy butt again, though I did take it easy. Maybe I can go wider and deeper tonight.
And I had a great night listening to music, like I haven't in a long time! And then fell asleep listening to an audiobook that I've already read, waking every so often, hearing more of the story wherever it was, and then falling asleep again, ... but it's a story about improbable love followed by heartbreak, so ... not so helpful with the lonely feeling. I'm gonna be so available for dates and hookups in a few months :-)
-----
Remembering how when I went to Durham for Moogfest all by myself for three nights, I still had the apps to entertain me by dangling the possibility of hooking up with the local guys. I remember being flaked on down there, heh, and the Duke student who wanted to literally kick my locked balls because of his intense Daddy issues ... I passed, that sounded uniquely dangerous, to have my locked balls vigorously smashed between boot soles and 3-D printed nylon.
I mean, a touch of ball torture can be fun, but I think this guy had deeper issues.
-----
Teen Wolf continues with the serious shortage of shirts for their hot male lead actors :-)
I had a large lunch, has taken a while to digest. I think in a bit I'll venture out for more alcohol and then I'll have another toy evening. It felt great last night to have a healthy butt again, though I did take it easy. Maybe I can go wider and deeper tonight.
And I had a great night listening to music, like I haven't in a long time! And then fell asleep listening to an audiobook that I've already read, waking every so often, hearing more of the story wherever it was, and then falling asleep again, ... but it's a story about improbable love followed by heartbreak, so ... not so helpful with the lonely feeling. I'm gonna be so available for dates and hookups in a few months :-)
I miss seeing and touching my friends and family, the people I love, my chosen family, and so many other people. I miss you. With some of you, for a bit at a time: phone, video, or even text communications help, but it's not nearly enough.
