VirtualExile

After I ate my bagels I banged on the keyboard for a while, and decided the next thing I need to do is write some lyrics for my songs, then I can put the lyrics to music, then I can start recording and mixing the music.

Then I finally watched the second part of Che, which was much like the first part, only with a different conclusion -- instead of a successful revolution in Cuba, he was caught in Bolivia and executed.  Both parts were mainly footage of training, foraging, and fighting in jungle terrain.  Not much of a plot, just people shooting at each other and dying.  It's not so clear from the POV of the film why one revolution worked but the other failed, Che led his revolutions pretty much the same way in each country.

As with the first part, the second part leaves me feeling that the war fighting of a mid-20th Century revolution is far removed from any results, you're just spending time outdoors without enough supplies while others try to hunt you down and kill you.  Or, they already know where you are because there's a well-established front line, so you hope they attack that line somewhere else.

Reminds me of George Orwell's memoir of the Spanish Civil War, in which he fought as a member of the International Brigades -- a mostly boring time spent outside with the occasional excitement of getting shot at.

So ... writing lyrics is next ... I've never done that before.  My sister once wrote music to go along with a poem I wrote for her.  It was part of her "music therapy" -- part of her occupational therapy regime as she was recovering from a bad car accident while I was in college.  Do I think about the musical tune as I'm writing the words?  Hmmm.

Well, I'm going on a walk outside for a bit.  Then the second half of my condo time will begin :-)

Condo!  I love this place!!  I'm so thankful that K allows me to maintain this condo for our continued use!!!  I hope to host K and many other fellas here After the Vaccine!!!!

When I got here I stretched and foam rolled, after easily finding free parking for the weekend -- the best part of COVID-19 is that nobody else is coming downtown for the holidays LOL.  There was that one time that parking was literally impossible on NYE ...  Been warming up my butt and testing some new tech configurations (monitoring the fans on K's laptop, hard wiring some equipment to the new router).

I have a new favorite porn star and I'm watching him in multiple videos on multiple screens (Zak Bishop).  Turns out I've had one of his videos on my hard drive for 4 years but now I'm suddenly really digging on him.  It helps that he's in videos with some of my other favorite stars, wow, wowowowow :o)

Gay Porn is the best part of capitalism, heh.  But I'd give it up for socialism.  What would socialist porn look like?  If PBS did porn ... hopefully they'd put me in charge of it, Minister of Porn.

-----

What role should porn play in a socialist society?  LOL, I'm not sure I want to write this essay right now.  Maybe tomorrow.  Maybe later after I'm more intoxicated, heh.

But, tomorrow's a Maids Day and also a Trash/Recycling Day so I'll be needed back at the house.  Plus there's still so much food to cook!  Then I'll drive back here for the work day.

And I'll draw another card from the Cum Deck.  The Jack of Clubs was a bad draw, it reduces the number of orgasms I can expect from the deck and puts off my next expected orgasm until February 15.  So tempted to just unlock the cage this morning, but I want to follow the rules I set for myself.  These rules are all I've got.

Had a 55-minute call with K :-)  I didn't expect it to last that long :-)

I'm sort of like the Blob taking over K's condo infrastructure today ... making it ALL MINE, heh ... the only piece I haven't completely commandeered yet is the AppleTV ... but then I'd have to relogin to all the goddess damned streaming services

Unlike last weekend, this weekend I know I'm getting two nights away and I'm going to make the best of this second night :-)

Suchi lunch is on the way!  Then I'll go forage for supplies, then I don't know exactly what I'll do, but I'll have fun :-)

I started reading Garage Band for Dummies ... gotta climb that DAW learning curve again.  But I'm in no rush.  I'm also role playing the next chapter of my Frag & Killa story.  And started re-reading Anna Karenina, which I first read in college.  I'm currently fascinated by how stories begin.  How does the author drag you into this alternate world?  Which words send you upon this journey?  How does she build word upon word upon word, taking flight inside your mind.

Mark from Reddit liked the video, of course.  I'm so finger tied with him right now (unable to text).  If he were here I'd simply kneel down and kiss his feet and make little squeaking noises instead of speech.  Is there an emoji for that feeling?  Wanting him to marry me so he can have my pension after I pass away, LOL.

There's some Bug heart available here, for the right fella(s).

Sushi lunch!

If I lived here full-time at the condo, or somewhere else on my own, would I be as concerned about cleanliness as I am right now?  I don't think I was this concerned about cleanliness back when I lived by myself from 1998-2004.  How I tackled the rats nest underneath the TV immediately after K moved.  How I ascertained and quickly took care of the plumbing leak.  And now how I've spent hours cleaning the place this weekend -- I even got out the vacuum cleaner for the first time!  It's going to require a deep cleaning every month or two, even if it's only me and I'm only here 10-20% of the time.

I think if I lived here I'd try to keep it clean, streamlined, and organized, much as K kept it.  As little clutter as possible.  So much of the stuff I have at the house would be gone.  Which friend of mine would like to have all my board games?  And which would like to have all my books?  I'd downsize clothing.

If I lived here I'd cook at least half of my meals, like I do at the house -- so far I haven't cooked anything here, I've ordered delivery and brought pre-packaged snacks.  There's practically nothing edible in the fridge or cupboards.  But I'd make double or triple portions and save the rest for later, or I'd invite people over.  I'd probably keep doing those meal kits, would need to do all the dishes myself even though I'm the cook -- T and I split those chores, if you didn't cook you do the dishes.

An efficiency condo like this one feels tight after living in a big house for 14 years, I'd probably prefer a 1BR, but I could live here and it would be affordable in retirement under my current below-market arrangement with K, in which I pay the net expenses while he keeps the equity.  There's enough storage for all my toys, a desk to work from, and even enough room to exercise in when the weather sucks.  I'd join a gym, though, after Quarantine, for weight lifting.  I'd be ruthless about downsizing possessions and keeping only what I expect to use.  First cutoff -- if I haven't used an item in the past year, get rid of it.  Clothing I haven't worn, games I haven't played, books I haven't read, and all kinds of mementos.  And if I lived here, we'd have to move some of K's remaining stuff out of the closets, of course.

Living alone here during Quarantine would've sucked.  Like some people I know who live alone, I would've created a bubble of family and friends to see in person, even though we occupy separate households.

The last time I lived alone I was considering getting a cat.  But after the current crop of three simultaneous pets -- as much as I love them -- I don't think I'll want to encumber my life that way again.  I'm sure T would want pets again, it's part of our future incompatibility as retirement nears -- we'll want different lifestyles, in different locations, and T would probably continue working even after drawing his pension to support a more expensive lifestyle than I will want.  I will no longer want to pay for (somewhat more than) half of our joint lifestyle.

-----

Practically zero transition anxiety this morning, because I acted more like I live here this weekend instead of stuffing it full of as much play time as possible, so there's not a pile of stuff to do this morning before I leave.  Even had a sober Saturday night!  Now I just have to brush teeth, shower, put away the few remaining items, and take the trash out as I leave.

Back to the house for lunch.  T says we cannot finish doing the basement stuff yet because the new floor covering he ordered hasn't arrived yet, but I can resume shared meals with him, taking care of the pets, and unfortunately I have to work for a while this afternoon.  Then a short work week followed by a 4-day weekend, of which I will likely spend two nights here at the condo again.

And I was randomly allowed an orgasm yesterday, so I'm much less riled up by my sex drive today, could be 7-14 days until I'm back to feeling crazy horny.  I've been too lucky with the Cum Deck so far, two of my first six cards have allowed me orgasms.  The rest of the cards will be less permissive -- roughly 200 days to go with 4 orgasms to go, so an orgasm every 50 days on average if I draw cards every day.  If I wait two weeks until I'm super horny again, it could be months later that I get to cum.  Or not!

Until recently, he was a porn star.  He's decided to switch to producing music, like they do.  He's got 15,000 followers on Twitter.  I'm one of them.  He follows 60 people.  I'm one of them.  When I message him, he messages me back.  Apparently I'm his type.  Older white hairy fit smart.

It's these little bits of online life that make it all worthwhile, that we sneak in these connections with people.  Like my favorite author I text with on the weekends.  The one who wrote and published a novella based on my idea.

And now my Portland boy, Matt from Reddit.

Of course, I love those of you who continue to read my LJ after 20 years.  20 years!

I'm grateful for these small injections of online love, and I am careful to guard them, from the algorithms.

OK, back to the butt toys -- this night is so young, yay :-) Taking a break from NaNoWriMo so I can cater to my butt until 2am.  There will be napping tomorrow afternoon!

The pressing matters regarding the house, the condo, my sister visiting, and money -- have all been taken care of, at least facially and for now.  There's even nothing on my work calendar until Monday, although the Monday deadline is significant and could require that I work on Sunday if my teammates can't pull their shit together before then.  Things should slow down next week for the holiday.

The condo shower plumbing is now better than it was before, even before it started leaking, and I spent some time cleaning the bathroom after the plumber left.  I'll spend more time cleaning the bathroom and the rest of the condo soon -- especially when I can be here for two nights, I will clean everything top to bottom if I can stay here an extra day -- it won't take long, small condo -- but that's probably the Fri-Sun after Turkey Dinner.  If I'm here only one night, the next morning I'm always having some amount of transition anxiety about cleaning up from the night before, so I don't usually get to the more long-term cleaning of surfaces.  But when I'm here two nights, the first morning I should be good to do the long-term cleaning.

We're getting more good news about the COVID-19 vaccine candidates, at least from the companies producing them.  We still need the federal regulators to look at their applications.  But it is getting more realistic that at least one vaccine could receive emergency approval before the end of this year.  Then it would be a matter of time before everybody who wants the vaccine could get it.  So sometime next year?  There's still the possibility that the regulators won't approve these candidates once they can look at the data for themselves, or that slow-acting safety issues will arise.  And we're still going to see tens of thousands more deaths in the US, if not hundreds of thousands more, before the vaccinations will make a difference.

And while we continue to quarantine.

I'm still holding on to you.  We're not finished yet.

And I'm OK :-)

-- the Fuck Bar is the best ever, BTW, not as sure about the Fuck Machine, but the Fuck Bar :o)  the bar is just simpler!